The lion cube and it's kitten friends
by Pearlislove
Summary: Johanna Mason doesn't like other victors...mostly. The nerds from District 3, Beetee and Wiress, are acceptable people, if a little insane. Blight is also acceptable, of course, if not because he makes Johanna laugh. Though of course it would be better if he'd stop calling her 'The lion cube'... (Catching fire from Johanna's POV)
1. Quarter Quell announcement

**A/N:**

 **Sooo, this is basically a lot of my Hunger Games headcanons, made into a collection of connected one-shots mostly written in Johanna Mason's POV (may throw in some chapters in other character's POV).**

 **Take place during Catching Fire and will mostly focus on Johanna and her relations to Wiress and Beetee and Blight (and their relations to each other).**

 **I originally wrote this cuz I always thought Johanna and Beetee and Wiress got along waaay better than it seems in the book. Like, really, I don't think she despise them that much.**

 **Updates will be about once a month , depending on schoolwork etc..**

"What the fuck?! Are they fucking kidding me?!" Blight screamed, jumping up from his seat on the couch and glaring at the screen, where President Snow was smiling victoriously after just having announced the already existing victors in each district would be reaped as tributes for the 75th Hunger Games.

"President Snow is a huge dick" I said calmly, oddly enough feeling far less aggravated compared to Blight. "He thinks he can get away with this? There is gonna be uprisings in the fucking capitol over this!"

"Still, that won't really help us when Chantelle is picking our names at the reaping " Blight sight, sitting back down in the worn out brown leather couch. "We're dead, Cube"

Leaning a little further back into the couch, I bit my lip hard in an attempt to stop myself from pointing out - again - how much I hated that specific nickname. Blight knew very well that it bothered me, and as far as I knew he couldn't care less. To him I would always be 'the Cube'.

At least when I went back into the games, I would get a chance to show my claws. Being the kind of person I was, I had a reputation that didn't allow me to go down without a fight.

I was just going to ask if he wanted me to get us some beers (from my house, I doubted there was anything left of his stash, considering how anxious he's been these last few weeks) when I heard the phone ringing in the kitchen. Preferably, I would have used the same strategy as Blight and ignored it, but the sound drilled itself into my head and I soon reasoned that it was easier to just go get it.

"Johanna Mason. What do you want?" I said sharply, knowing that I wouldn't offend noone. The only one who'd have a victor's telephonenumber, or a telephone at all, would be someone from the capitol, a district mayor or an other victor. I didn't care for either and they knew it.

"Hi Johanna, it's...uh...it's Beetee Latier. Is Blight there?" A nervous-sounding man's voice spoke up on the other side, speaking quietly and stammering slightly. It took me a moment to process the words, barely having heard them over a weird background noise that sounded like a person whimpering. I sure hoped it wasn't a person whimpering.

"Oh, you want to talk to Blight. Yeah sure, a moment" I replied when I finally realised what he was saying, lowering the phone to my shoulder and turning towards the living room. "Blight! Your buddy from three is on the phone!"

Iis Volts on the phone? What the fuck does he want?!" Blight called back, still not moving from the couch and eyeing me suspiciously. Like it was a fucking prank or something.

"He didn't say! Just take the phone jackass!" I explained, frustrated at Blight being so slowly and almost deaf, before putting the phone back up to my ear. "He'll be here in a minute, he's just a slow idiot"

Beetee didn't respond to me this time, and I didn't care. The weird sound in the background had increased in volume and I didn't think I would hear if he was talking anyway. For quite a long while, I was left listening to the creepy noise on the other side and watching as Blight slowly rose from the couch and sauntered over to the kitchen area.

"Give me the phone" he said when he finally came to the kitchen, stretching out his hand expectantly.

"Here you go. Remember to ask him to speak up. You're almost deaf and there's some fucking static on his end of the line or something." I said, dropping the phone in his hand and returning to the couch.

Once seated on the couch, I didn't quite know what to do. I was still unimaginably pissed at Snow for doing what he's doing, and most of all I would just like to go home and have a beer and throw some axes at my wall...but I also knew that I wasn't quite ready to leave Blight alone due to the risk that he'd do something unimaginably stupid, which I knew from past experience wouldn't be beyond him to actually do, as annoying as that might be.

And after all, last time I left him all alone when he was angry/pissed/whatever, he had needed no less than ten stitches. And as if that wasn't bad enough it had been just two days before the reaping of the 74th annual Hunger Games. Our districts escort, Chantelle, and the prep team had been absolutely furious and demanding to know what he was thinking, warning that if he didn't started taking responsibility for himself, he might one day end up on the same low level as the victor from District Twelve, Haymitch Abernathy. At this, Blight had simply scoffed, saying that it at least would be better than being like Brutus and Enobaria or Gloss and Cashmere (I always appreciated his fierce hate of the career districts, it matched my own).

So with nothing better to do, not wanting to leave but not wanting to stay on the couch unless I could have some alcohol to calm my overactive mind with, I once more rose from the couch and entered the kitchen with the aim to try and find some beer. Already from the start I had half a mind to listen in on Volts and Blight's conversation, too, because why not? I was bored and needed a beer so much.

"Yeah, I get it Beetee, of course it's scary but...oh damn it can't you just tell the old nutcase to shut up?! I can't fucking hear you over all the noise she's making!" Blight swore as I entered the kitchen, and first now did I realise that the 'static' on the other hand _had_ been a human.

' _Of course Nuts and Volts watched the Quarter Quell announcement...bet she had a panic attack when she found out she might be going back in there, too!' '_ I thought, frowning and quickly busying myself with opening some more cupboards in my continued search for beer or some other alcohol. I wasn't very interested in Beetee and Blights conversation anymore. After all, if Nuts and Volts went into the games they'd die soon, so they weren't worth the brain power.

Yet as I continued my search for beer, my thoughts returned to the odd pair from District three. Beetee Latier and Wiress Router was their real names, but I had long ago nicknamed them 'Nuts and Volts'. It had by now grown popular enough that they were rarely referred to by name anymore.

My reason behind the shared nickname had been the rather obvious fact that they were a couple and practically glued together at the hips, never to be seen on their own. If you had Nuts, you had Volts, and if you had Volts, you also had Nuts, no two ways about it. Even moments apart would upset the couple to the extreme, especially Nuts, who due to a brain damage sustained in her games depend Volts to support her in social situations. The mentors from District three was in fact so close that most victors argued that they had developed codependency issues, which was most likely true.

"Cube, the beer is **here** " Blight said, stretching his arms above my head and opening the one of the tob cabinets, where I saw two six packs with beer waiting. Eager, I stretched my arm out to get one of them, but Blight took them before i had a chance to grab one.

"What do we say when we want beer, cube?" Blight asked, smiling playfully and dangling one of the six packs in front of my face.

"Could you please give me a beer, **grandpa?** " i said, firing off a triumphant smile and receiving two beers as reward. "Hope you were able to sort things out with volts, by the way" I added, opening a beer and taking a sip. I could immediately tell from the taste that it was the strong, bitter kind that Blight always fancied.

"Yeah, he just needed to discuss the announcement with someone in the same boat" Blight replied absentmindedly, the deep frown etched to his face clearly showing that he was lying, and I frowned too.

 _I really hate being a younger victor_ …

It wasn't the first time I had had that thought, and it burned a little extra in my heart knowing that it probably wouldn't be the last time, either. To a beginning, I had had a hard time fitting in with the other victors, and therefore the fact that I was being excluded didn't become clear until I found my place. Once I knew my role in the group, however, the older victors active exclusion of the younger victors became painfully obvious. Knowing that they were hiding things from you were painful. Talking to some of the other younger ones, like Finnick, made it clear that we didn't feel validated enough. None of us felt like we could actually count for victors until our games lay ten, fifteen years behind us, even though the fact that we were actually standing here should be proof enough. But it clearly didn't. And now, when I was going to get reaped _again,_ I might never have the chance to become a real victor after all…


	2. The reaping in district three (Part 1)

**A/N: Special thanks to BlackCat46, this chapter wouldn't be here without you!**

 **This chapter is special, as it is part 1 of a 2 part story. Enjoy!**

A rarely known fact about Districts reapings, is that they don't happen all at once. Instead, they are in chronological order, District for District, meaning that district 12 had their reaping two weeks before the pre-games activities for sponsors and tributes started, while District 1 had their just 1 day before the start. The system was made up this way, so that mentors from the different districts would be able to watch the other reapings to see what their tributes were up against.

I never did that, of course. I didn't see the point in bothering to do so when my tributes were gonna get sliced anyway… Blight always did it, though, and one person watching was more than enough to warn us of any surprises. I, however, never felt that being aware of our competition was enough of an excuse for Blight's apparent interest in the reapings, but couldn't find any other reason for it either, and had as such decided it was easiest just to let it go.

I _normally_ didn't watch the reapings, it wasn't my style, but this year wasn't _normal_. Because this year's games was the most special thing ever presented on television in the history of Panem, I Was now sitting on the couch in the livingroom area on the train to the capitol. The three cogs forged on the surfaces of a silver coin, the official symbol of district three was spinning on the TV screen as they were waiting to get clearance to start sending from the district. Ironically enough, it was also in this district that our train had just pulled in to the station. Since we were in District three, I had originally planned on actually attending the reaping in person, but Chantelle (Districts Sevens escort of soon to be twenty years) had in no uncertainties informed me that it wasn't permitted for anyone by local citizens and victors, the districts escort, peacekeepers and the President Snow himself to attend the reaping in person. As such, I was now sitting on the couch instead, staring at the screen and wondering how much longer I would have to wait to get to see two person being given a death sentence (It had to be a death sentence, no one from District three could possibly win).

Just as the district symbol finally disappeared, quickly being replaced by a scenographic view of district three from above, Blight landed it the couch next to me.

"Hey cube! I didn't know you wanted to see the reapings!" He exclaimed, sounding happy even though he obviously wasn't. "Who do you think will be reaped? Any favourites?"

"I think it'll be Nuts and Volts, but who knows? District three have three times as many victors as our district.." I answered matter of factly, looking at the screen.

On the stage is District three, six victors was lined up. Three men and three women. Among the women, there was an elderly women who had to be at least sixty, a scrawny and obviously quite young woman who was crying into her hand, and last but not least, the middle-aged women I knew to be named Wiress 'Nuts' Router. Dressed in a rust brown skirt and a green sweater that was several sizes too big (probably to hide Wiress almost worryingly thin frame), she was absentmindedly looking in the general direction of the camera, but her blank expression told me that she wasn't seeing it.

On the men's side, there was an elderly man that looked to be about the same age as the elderly women, a younger man that was probably not more than thirty and heavily leaning on two crutches to be able to keep himself upright, and, of course, a little more than Middle aged man who I also happened to know was named Beetee 'Volts' Latier. Beetee had been dressed in a dark blue suit and his facial hair had been trimmed into a moustache and goatee. As the camera zoomed in on his face, he showed off a stern and almost angry expression as he almost challenging glared back at the camera.

After showing all the victors, two of which was to be reaped, the camera backed and zoomed out in order to be able to show off the crowds of district citizens gathered in the square. I immediately noticed something was off about them.

"you can really see on the district citizens that something big is going on" I commented, watching the crowds with critical eyes.

I had not watched many reapings in my days, that much was true, but I had watched enough of them to at least know how the people of the districts was supposed to act.

District three had always been one of my favourite districts, and in reapings they could be described as one of the 'boring districts'. Citizens here were way smarter than most others, so smart in fact, that they had figured out the secret that I hadn't gotten till after my games: they figured out how to not to be emotionally attached.

In other districts, before the reapings, there would be hugging and kissing and crying and parents begging for their children not to be reaped as they watched over the kids not yet old enough to be reaped which would be clinging to their mother skirts.

In District three, there was no begging nor crying. Small children stood dutifully and watched while holding their parents hands. Everyone would just be waiting for the unavoidable.

In other districts, when people _did_ get reaped, there'd be even more screaming and crying. There'd be people trying to refuse to enter the stage, or trying to stop others from entering the stage, but rarely any volunteers.

In District three there were even fewer volunteers. When someone _did_ get reaped, noone cared or said anything. Occasionally, some of the younger kids in the reaping could start crying, but that was it. Never any drama.

But today, it was not like it _normally_ would be. Today, the crowds were unorganised and jumpy. Kids were clinging to their parents and people were crying and scared. Today, as two of their only survivors was going to be reaped and sent back into the games, the people of district three finally realised that even surrender comes with a price.

"Cube, it's about to start!" Blight called, snapping me out of my thoughts and directing my attention to the TV.

On the stage, a tall man dressed in a brown suit made of a glitter that I assumed to be the District escort was approaching one of the big glass bowls at the front of the stage. He was going to reap the first tribute for District three.

"Lady's first, as usual!" The man said happily, pulling a folded note out of the bowl and opening it. "Wiress Router!"

Blinking three times as the cameras zoomed in on her face, Wiress shook her head to regain focus before smiling falsely and strolling across the stage to the escort. As was typical, she shook his hand and accepted his congratulations before placing herself on his left side. I could already see the tears glittering on her cheeks in the bright sunlight, and I knew that she knew she wouldn't survive. When she took her place on the stage, something happened. In the corner of the screen, three simple lines of information appeared:

Name: Wiress Router

Victory: 47th Hunger Games

Age: 16

Reading those three lines, I realised it was her victor information. It was a new detail they had added, these three lines of information, probably because chances were the large masses would be unfamiliar with many of the older victors and their games. Not that anyone outside of the capitol would care, anyway.

"One down, one to go. Look like you called it, Cube" Blight sight, glancing at me from the corner of his eye. I could see this was dragging him down, and why wouldn't it? Wiress had won the year before him, and they were just one year apart age wise, too. Blight wasn't normally a very friendly person, but I knew he liked Wiress, as spaced out as she might be.

"Told you. It's an easy guess." I responded, looking back at the screen as the escort approached the men's bowl, all three of the male victors tensing as he came closer. Soon one of them would be picked.

"Now, time for the gentlemen!" The man said happily, moving his hand around a while before picking up a note and opening it. "Chrome Chip"

With mild surprise, I watched as the man with crutches slowly started stumbling forward across the stage, obviously having a bit of trouble as he tried to move his legs. The unfamiliar man, not only looking terrified but also looking as if was in quite a lot of pain, had only had the time to take about three stumbling steps when Beetee stepped out in front of him and stopped him.

"Chrome, go back. I got this." Beetee told the younger man, smiling despite the dire circumstances.

"B-but Beetee…" The man stammered, holding on to his crutches tightly and watching as Beetee ignored his protest and instead turned back towards the audience.

"I volunteer!" Beetee exclaimed, stretching his hand in the air before lowering it again and walking over to obviously excited escort. I guessed it was quite boring job for him most the time, never having any voluteers that he could brag about to his friends, and therefor having oen now was as good as it was ever going to be.

"Ooh, this is so exciting!" The escort chirped, shaking Beetee's hand. "What's your name?"

"Beetee Latier" Beetee answered, silently taking his place on the left side of the escort, next to Wiress. Wiress immediately grabbed his hand, squeezing it hard before they hired them above their head, as was to be expected. When they did, Beetee's victor information finally appeared in the corner of the screen, three simple lines just like last time.

Name: Beetee Latier

Victory: 38th Hunger Games

Age: 17

Staring at the three lines of information, I realised that I practically had no idea what I was really up against. I was familiar enough with Wiress and Beetee as persons, but I knew nothing of the Hunger Games which they had won, and the same thing went for most of the other victors, too. As a child, I had never really watched the games, only starting as i became old enough to be reaped myself and started knowing the people that were reaped. Since my own victory it had been almost four years, and out of the 4 people that had become victors during that time, the only ones that had been reaped was the so-called 'Star-Crossed Lovers' from District twelve.


	3. Blight (part 2)

"Well, that was that. Not much of a surprise, I suppose. " Blight sight, rising from arm chair he'd been occupying for the last half-hour and walking over to the bar cart standing by the door. "Want a drink, cube?"

Shaking my head, I watched as he poured himself a glass of Whiskey. Blight wasn't an alcoholic, not really, but I was well-aware that a lot of the people in the capitol thought he was. I couldn't really blame them, though, not when they always saw him at his worst. Blight had a tendency to drink a lot when he was stressed, and that meant that during the

games he was often seen sitting in the bar with the victors who actually were alcoholics. Being in the company of Haymitch and Chaff and Seeder easily tricked people into assuming he was as addicted to liquor as they were.

"You know I am going to die, don't you? Blight looked at me with a look I had never seen before but could closest describe as _hurt_.

"Your going to be fine" I said through gritted teeth, holding back what I instinctively wanted to tell him: _I'm going to fucking protect you._

Blight just sight and walked away. He could tell I weren't ready to discuss it yet and for that I thanked him.

I couldn't tell him i was going to be his guardian in the arena and that I was going to save his life as far as I could, not now, and maybe not ever. Just let him find out when the games started, and hope he'd roll with it. He'd just be worried and turn me down if I told him now, anyway, and I couldn't handle losing his trust .

 _But why? Why did I care about if Blight made it in the arena? He was going to die if I was to win anyway_

The question burned in my mind, and as much as I tried to hide the answer I knew why. I knew that for years now I had been telling myself that I was getting _too fucking close_ , that he was starting to remind me too much of my _dad_ , that Snow _killed_ , and that if I continued letting my emotions roll I'd eventually have to pay an expensive price.

And that time was now

I was paying my price through crying myself to sleep and hating my heart for opening up to him and telling me to trust him. It was stupid and it wasn't the way Johanna Mason did things.

Yet it was how it was now, and I couldn't tell myself _why._ It was there, the evidence I needed, showing itself in the form of three long, thin, white lines running across Blights arm. They were very obvious with their appearances, never fading witness against his sun kissed skin. They were the reason I had to protect him.

When i saw the blackened remains of my childhood home, something snapped in me, and for a moment I went crazy. I didn't know what I was doing, but I wanted to harm someone _so very badly._ Somehow, that _someone_ ended up being Blight. He lifted me up, intending to hold me until I calmed down and regained control. But instead of calming down, I attacked him with my nails as weapons and I started to scratch and stab my way into the flesh on his arm, leaving three deep bleeding wounds in my wake when everything finally got too much and I passed out.

 _I hurted him_ , and he still carried me back to _his home_ and lay me down on _his bed_ to sleep while he went to fix the wounds on his arm. It was the first time he had brought the wild lion cube he'd gotten out of the games to his home, but certainly not the last time. Blight had, as much as I hated to admit it, become my life-line. With him it was never 'it's too early to drink' or 'you sure you are okay Johanna?'. Instead, he bought every lie I had to tell as long as I never locked the door and supplied me with all the alcohol I needed as long as I drank it sitting on his couch. He gave me the privacy I needed and supplied the help I could never ask for.

I, of course, repaid the favours, too. Blight was a surprisingly stubborn man with a hot temperament that was hard to control. He was prone to have fits of rage, and accidents was never far from happening. It took me not more than two weeks of living in the victor's village in seven to realise why Blight had moved his first aid kit from the bathroom to the door, and by week three I had done the same. it was always needed anyway.

In the capitol, they say that everyone from district seven are the same kind of people: Proud, hard-working and honest, unable to lie and loyal to the fault. But me and Blight, we were different, both from each other and from what people thought people from district seven was like.

We could lie because we had to.

We worked hard, but not in the same way as a lumberjacker.

We couldn't afford to be loyal.

We were different, in an endless number of ways, but most of all, it was about pride. As a victor, I couldn't feel pride in the same way as a normal human being. I had done so many things, that I could never be proud of, that actually finding pride in myself was in it self worth to be proud of... But no matter how many bad deeds I had done, I still knew, that I had fought and I had survived, and therefor I could be proud of myself.

Blight didn't feel the way same as me when it came to being proud. He simply didn't feel any pride at all. I had never quite figured out why he couldn't feel any pride, not even for having survived, but it wasn't the kind of thing you asked anyone about, especially if you were Johanna Mason, and as such I had just let it be. But letting it be didn't mean I didn't think about it every now and then, because I did, and I the reason I did was because it would always show.

It showed in the scars, that all victors carried on their bodies. Blight, always having been a fighter, had more scars than I hoped i would ever have, but while I wore mine proudly, he hid his as much as he could. Through working outside and getting his skin dark and sun-kissed, the charred and darkened skin on his arms and legs which so ironically reminded you of his name, Blight, were hidden away. Even more invisible, the scars became, when the stylists got their hands on him and dressed him in clothes that covered him from top to bottom.


	4. Tribute Parade

**A/N Soooo I know this is kind of long, almost 4k, but really i couldn't stop myself. However, the next chapter is gonna take time, like probably end of May, cuz the new Steven bomb is coming and I'm gonna write SU stuff (have to do that every once in awhile too, cuz u know, there's apparently lots of people that care bout that and shit!) Plus it'll be a busy month for me and summer is gonna be even more busy but i'll TRY not to get behind… otherwise u know this story is coming back in the fall!**

The tribute parade was always one of the most important events of each Hunger Games. During the tribute parade, the stylist of each district got a chance to show off their skills, the tribute's got to show some character, and the Capitol citizens and potential sponsors got to have a close up look at what was being offered for them to bet on that particular year for the first time. A tribute's impression at the parade was what could save them later, in the games. It could buy them time and in some cases it could even be their ticket out of the arena.

The tribute parade was important for buying sponsors, but with the disastrous looks of this year's tributes, both in clothes and otherwise, I doubted any of us was going to be able to make enough of an impression to get anyone to bet on us that wasn't already.

Personally, I was a tree. A _fucking green leaf tree_. Dressed in a tight one piece suit with a ghastly green pattern supposed to look like leaves and a curvy, dark brown corset I was supposed to depict the lumber the people back home made a living through cutting down. The stylist of our district had been using this very same concept for the last forty years and I should have known this year weren't going to be an exception.

Looking around, I could at least tell that most of the other stylists hadn't been much smarter than mine when they designed the clothes for their districts tributes. People, who could barely handle dressing teenagers to look presentable, did obviously not do a much better job when tasked with middle-aged men and women with scar covered bodies instead. Straining my neck to be able to glance at the people In the far back, I saw that district ten's tributes had been dressed as what was almost certainly supposed to be a pair of cows with burning belts. The image of the poor folks in the absolutely despicable costumes got a laughter out of me, helping to brighten my mood somewhat and giving med a sudden urge to talk some of the other victors. Preferably Finnick, as he was sure to get me into an even better mood.

Searching around, I was disappointed to see that Finnick, dressed in the most minimalistic costume I had ever seen, was already busy talking to one of the so-called 'Star Crossed lovers' from district 12, Katniss Everdeen. I could tell he was flirting with her, and I didn't feel like interrupting his little 'game'. Instead, I looked around for other people to talk to.

"Hey, Johanna, come here!" Blight yelled, waving his arm in the air so she'd see him where he was standing upfront with two other victors that I couldn't identify because of the distance. Blight's costume for the year was _almost_ as bad as mine, though it was decidedly more _covering_ than me, which of course was to the burnt and charred skin that covered large portions of his arms and legs. Blight had never been a man that was easy on the eyes, but if you covered the burnt skin he had a rough kind of charm working in his favour.

Not having anything better to do and feeling increasingly bored, I figured I might as well spend some time with Blight and whoever the other two were. I wasn't really afraid to get stuck with any tedious people, since Blight only socialized with people he deemed 'safe', or in other words unlikely to set him off and make him hurt himself by accident (at least they'd call it accident if anyone asked).

"Hi Miss Leaf, nice costume!" Blight laughed as I came and joined him and the other two victors by the third carriage. His own costume was full length pants, shirt and coat in the same leafgreen pattern as my suit combined with about a pound of makeup to cover up all the tiny scars the clothes did not hide.

"That's what you get for never letting me axe our stupid stylists!" I remarked, not even a hint of sarcasm in my voice. I meant it; if I had been allowed to axe the stupid stylist that I had dressed us to be trees for the last forty years I would.

"Well I think your costume is quite nice" The man who had accompanied Blight said, both he and the women next to me laughing as if they were sharing some kind of inside joke or something. When they laughed I finally realised that the man of course was Volts, the women next to him being none other than Nuts. I also saw that they obviously had one of the more retarded stylists, too.

Standing there next to Blight, who was dressed in a somewhat natural green color, Beetee and Wiress looked absolutely ridiculous in their dress and suit decorated with shining purple light bulbs (what kind of genius had even thought that would look good?). Not even the measurements of the clothes seemed have to been correct, in this case. Beetee's costume was obviously meant for someone taller and slightly thinner, which made him look like he had been exposed to intense heat and swelled, like a bread in the oven. Even worse, though, was Wiress dress. Despite stuffing (there was no way she had that kind of rack naturally), it was so ill-fitted around her body that the only thing holding it in place was a pair of tightly fastened shoulder straps and a long piece of purple silk tightly fastened around her waist, only to be swallowed up by the excess material in the dress.

"Oh, I don't know, yours is quite a number too!" I said sarcastically, smiling sharply. "you know, with the perfectly fitted sizes and everything!"

I immediately realised I had said something very wrong, if unintentional. Nuts lowered her head, the purple ribbons in her hair doing nothing to stop the mountain of thick, dark curls from cascading down her face and completely hiding her expression as she self-consciously wrapped her arms tightly around her waist. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Blight and Volts exchanging clearly worried looks, but none of them had the time to saying anything before Nuts spoke herself.

"It's not my fault they always think I'm **fat**! Every time, they do the same kind of mistake, even though" She said, her voice low and shaking. I could sense the underlying rage she couldn't quite express herself, and for a moment I couldn't help but pity the poor woman. She was clearly very self-conscious (which victor wasn't?) and the stylists completely messing up the sizes had obviously had a bigger impact that she wanted to show, making my comment overly hurtful. If I hadn't been who I were, I would have given crazy old lady a hug.

"Honey, we've been over this. You are not fat, you are beautiful" Volts said carefully, gently wrapping his arms around Nuts and hugging her best he could as they were both covered in purple light bulbs. Nuts looked as if she was about cry any moment now, her entire body shaking as she tried to get closer to Beetee's comforting embrace, and I was starting to feel uncomfortable as I suddenly stood there, guilty of causing Nuts to have a break-down.

Blight grabbing me by my elbow was a blessing I didn't know I needed.

Quickly leaving the scene, I let him drag me along for a few meters before freeing myself from his strong grip and continuing to walk beside him on my own. I couldn't let anyone see him dragging me like that, it made me look too small and weak and lost. Being a junior victor, I needed to impress on the other victors so they'd know not to count me out, and so they'd want to pair up with me (and Blight). The fact that my games held the record for most decapitated tributes ever gave me an advantage, of course, but it was in no way a free ticket to an alliance, unless I wished to pair with any of the districts that were unlikely to get an allies at all, like five and six, which neither me nor Blight did.

It was not a minute after me and Blight had returned to our chariot, that they told everyone to enter their wagons and prepare for leaving the stable within ten minutes. In the chariot before ours, I could see the drug addicts from six stumbling into the cart, trying not to trip on their own clothes and grabbing the edge of the cart to be able to keep themselves upright. Disgusted, I looked behind me instead. In District eight's cart, Cecelia was standing by the edge and helping Woof onboard. I could see they were struggling as Cecilia for some reason seemed more or less forced to carry Woof's entire weight as she tugged at his arms and tried to get him onboard.

"Mind...ugh...helping me, Jo?" Cecelia huffed as she saw me looking her way, once more trying and pretty much failing to get Woof into the cart. The old man stumbled backwards, getting a yelp of surprise out of the District Nine victors when he approached their cart at the same time as he tried to regain his balance, once having succeeded clumsily approaching the wagon again, ready to try and get up once more.

"My knees won't really seem to cooperate, I'm afraid." Woof said sheepishly, for once seemingly aware of what was going on as Cecelia started dragging him again. "If you could spare it, a little help would be greatly appreciated Johanna!"

"Fine." I said, climbing out of my wagon with little difficulties (right now happy I wasn't caught in some ridiculous and complicated dress like many other female tributes) and then walking the short distance to district Eight's chariot instead, wishing I'd just kept looking at the disgusting Morflinists from district six. They at least got into their chariot on their own!

When I came to the chariot I could immediately see the struggles the two victors were having. Cecelia was dressed in a huge ball gown-like dress that was probably pretty stale and made it increasingly complicated for her to move, while Woof was standing there pathetically with shaking knees, the cane that he normally used for support having been taken away from him. They needed help _desperately_.

"Okay, pathetic people, listen up!" I said, rolling my eyes at the scene before me. "Cecelia, grab his arms, and I'll help with legs!"

Cecelia and Woof both nodded, agreeing on the plan as they knew they didn't have much time left before they needed to be in place. Moving closer to the wagon, Woof extended his arms for Cecelia to grab onto while letting me grab onto his legs as we prepared to get him into the cart.

"Okay, on three. One...two...three!" As I yelled three, I started to lift Woofs legs, pushing him upwards and forward at the same time as Cecelia dragged him towards her with all her might, our combined efforts finally resulting in Woof finally getting up into the chariot next to Cecelia.

"Thanks so much for the help, dear!" Woof smiled, holding onto Cecelias shoulder for support.

I only smiled sarcastically in response, quickly returning to my own wagon as I could feel Terraria and Helix from nine looking at me suspiciously. If I stayed much longer the two of them would probably make up a rumour about me allying with eight, and tell the other victors that if they wanted me they'd have to take Cecelia and Woof too, which definitely was a disadvantage as Woof was senile as anything and Cecelia was trying to look out for him. If I smacked any of them or said something mean, then they wouldn't have anything to talk about on that account, of course, but i wasn't mean enough to do that to Cecelia and Woof, especially not when Blight was also watching. It was also likely to backfire and making me have trouble with alliances instead.

"The organisers of these games are idiots,aren't they? They haven't even figured out a way for the tributes to get into the wagon!" Blight complained, looking back at Woof and Cecelia meaningly as I climbed on board our wagon.

"Yeah not everyone can carry the other tribute on their back like Finnick!" I said, sighting. "They also haven't been able to figure out how to stop nosy victors from making up gossip!"

"Don't worry Jo! No one take _Terraria and Helix_ serious, ever!"Blight laughed, clutching his stomach. "Those two has been spreading false gossip since before you were born!"

'Before I could give him a snide reply to cover over up my secret relief that the district nine pair weren't gonna give me any problems, the announcer once more called out in the speakers, addressing the victors made tributes and telling them the first chariot was now leaving the stable and that all tributes needed to be onboard by now.

"Thanks again for the help!" Cecelia called out once more as the wagons started to move, Woof, who was still clinging to her arm for support, mumbling something that might have been him agreeing. Then the both of them looked ahead, at the audience that was slowly approaching and would soon be able to see them, and I did the same, once more having to look at the disgusting victors from six who really looked extremely lost and out of it, like they couldn't even tell where they were or what they were supposed to do (though I guessed Wiress and Woof was probably feeling the same, but without morphling).

"Come on, Jo, smile a little! Never mind Carter and Savera, they've avoided morphling during two hunger games in the past twenty years. Grab my hand and give the capitol people a smile worthy of a victor!" Blight said, elbowing me roughly in the ribs when I didn't immediately cooperated, making me wince, but also making me do as he said. straightening up, I smiled viciously and grabbed onto his hand, holding it hard.

About three carts in front of us, I could see Finnick Odair flexing his muscles and probably showing off his junk (Come on, he was wearing nothing but **a fishing net**!) in front of the audience, Mags standing by his side and smiling that sweet, motherly smile of hers, focusing on Nuts and Volts which would be in the cart before them and probably were quite a sight (I'd have to watch the parade rerun on TV later) when suddenly the roars of the audience increased tenfold.

It seemed it was directed to something behind us

Both me and Blight strained our necks, looking backwards and trying to catch a glimpse of what was getting the audience all worked up for some reason, which was when we noticed the tributes from district twelve, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark. They were on fire, their costumes literally being swallowed by artificial flames and the capitol was loving it to bits. At the moment they were receiving more attention than both Gloss and Cashmere from District one, and Finnick Odair from four. Together. They were something entirely new and fresh compared to the other victors with their ill fitted and ugly costumes and aged faces. Their costumes too were terrific, District twelves stylist Cinna once more having created a masterpiece (oh how i wished MY district had gotten Cinna).

Carter and Savera from District six, also known as 'The morphlinists' due to their well known addiction to a pain medication with the same name, was staring back at the District twelve tributes with mesmerised expression. I was well aware of the different effects of the drug such as enhanced perception of colours and sounds, which **does** make the clothes mesmerising….but still! They had turned around and was looking backwards while we kept on going down the parade way, completely ignoring the capitol people.

"Hey, Carter! You and Saver should turn your asses around before you fall of!" Blight shouted, addressing the one of the tributes from District Six that was usually the most sensible (aka least high) as they were swaying with every motion of the car where they stood, looking like a two newly planted trees during a storm.

The addressed forty-year old man, dressed in an confusing colour that looked like a ish mash of patterns and colours of all kinds blinked suddenly, smiling, first mumbling something I think was a compliment to **our** costume, before nudging Savera's arm in an half-hearted attempt to get her attention

"We should...should...turn around...you know?" He said, his voice thin and vawery, but the female tribute next to him nodded, understanding him perfectly, and the both of them turned back around so they were once again facing forward, towards the back of the District five tributes . When they did, Blight, who had originally asked them to turn around, looked visibly relieved that they were now standing safer.

I watched him, suspicious. Less than half an hour ago, he had been dismissing these people, seemingly not caring if they fell out of their cart and got trampled by the

horse dragging our cart, but now he was suddenly concerned that that might happen after all, and it did me _very_ suspicious.

"Blight!" I hissed. "Why do you care if Carter and Savera fall off? You didn't seem to care a moment ago!"

"Sorry, I have to care! I lost a bet to Mags!" Blight pouted, obviously pissed. "Well, me, Chaff, Angus and Helix. We have to make sure Savera and Carter doesn't kill themselves before the games"

"He lost sooo bad!" Jolt and Fission from District Five screamed, laughing and quite obviously drunk (had they actually smuggled a bottle of wine on board the chariot?!)

I looked at Blight, not quite believing what I was hearing. What best could they possibly have lost to Mags? The most famous victories from seven, nine, ten and eleven (all of them quite big and strong men) possibly have lost against the ancient lady from four?

"and what bet exactly was that?" I asked carefully, once I said it realising it might as well have been some kind of cover up for the fact that Mags asked for a favour and they didn't have it in them to say no.

"Mags didn't think we could list off more victorious tributes from the last three decade, using both first and last name, than she could. Together. She was very right…" Blight frowned sourly.

"The last three decades includes victors that won before you did!" I dead-panned.

"Why do you think I had Angus and Chaff and Helix?" Blight snapped angrily. "Besides, it's not that hard. The biggest threat is that they'll overdose, and if it haven't happened in the last twenty years it probably won't happen now"

"Yeah, like twenty years of sending kids into the arena can be compared with going back in yourself when you barely made it out to begin with…" I mumbled angrily. To demonstrate my anger I decided to ignore Blight fro the rest of the night, hoping I could actually stick to my promise. I know he was friends with many of these victors but he needed to snap out of it if he wanted to have a chance to get past the blood bath.

"Come on, it's Mags! You wouldn't have been able to say no either!" Blight replied, and I sighed, unfortunately knowing it was true. Mags was the sweetest women you'd ever meet, and the most famous victor, too. After having won the 11th hunger games and made District Four a career District she quickly went down in history. No one would _ever_ say no to anything she asked for, not even Haymitch Abernathy, the most stubborn man on Earth.

Not wanting to admit defeat, I instead chose to simply look forward. Our chariot was coming to a stop in front of the balcony where Snow was waiting to give his introduction speech and i prepared to tune him out.

 _I've seen him hold this speech every year since the day I was twelve years old. I_ _ **do not**_ _have to listen to it while he is honoring my own death in it!_

Looking around at all the other victorious, I could really see that most of them tuned it out too...well with the exception of those who were 'tuning out' all the time, like the morphlinists, Woof and Wiress (they had three very different reasons for doing so). Only Katniss 'The Girl on Fire' Everdeen and Peeta 'Loverboy' Mellark seemed to actually be actively listening to President Snow, which for some reason angered me. Didn't they understand he was gonna butcher them? They were the new meat, and the most well-loved by the Capitol out of all the victors here (minus Finnick Odair, of course), which would equal the most gruesome death in the end, just so he could get some pity from the capitol Citizens. It was how it always worked, almost. Unless the lovable ones were fighters, which rarely happened, because people love underdogs.

 **But** , something all of us also had to remember, was that **this** was not a _normal_ Hunger Games, and if you'd ask me, I actually didn't think any single one of standing here would actually make it out alive!


	5. Tribute training (part 1)

_I can hear the rustling of leaves in the bushes to my right, warning me that someone is coming, and before I had time to do much more than grab my ax, another female tribute comes jumping out of the bushes. Sliding a few meters down the clearly marked forest path as it turn to the left, the girl finally comes to a stop with her back turned to me a few hundred meters away. Gripping my ax harder and tensing, I try to assert the danger while I wait for her to attack. She is one of the smaller tributes in the games and had probably not been very well-fed back home in her district, but I know better than to dismiss her because of apperance. It was thanks to my appearance I had so far been able to kill five tributes._

 _All thoughts of keeping an eye on the girl leaves my mind simultaneously when I hear the wolf growling angrily somewhere nearby. Knowing the sound was too close for comfort, I see the other tribute turning around so quick that her long, fire-red tresses fly through the air and easily could have slapped someone, had they been close enough. The tribute's eye's are large and terrified as she's clearly looking for the monster that made the sound, suddenly making me realise that she was never going to attack me. She had been_ _ **fleeing**_ _from the monster all along, and now it was finally catching up with her!_

" _RUN!" The girl screams, still not moving herself as the wolf comes barging out of the bushes the same way the girl had, sliding down the road as well but stopping much sooner as it buried its long, bent and most certainly dangerous claws into the earth. It was huge thing, the beast, most certainly resembling a wolf except it's fur was gooden and ragged, and it had two long tusks sticking out of it's drooling mouth. The green saliva that dropped down on to the ground made a sizzling sound when it landed._

 _Blinded with a fear that this'll be the end, that both me and the other, unfamiliar tribute was going to be devoured and torn to shreds by the terrifying monster, I threw my ax at random and somehow managed hit the beast right in the head, cracking its skull and knocking it to ground. The wound leaked green substance similar to the saliva that had been dropping from it's mouth, and I could see parts of it was slowly starting to disintegrate due to the poison or whatever it was._

 _Still making sure it was actually completely dead, I bent down to it's skull and retrieved the ax from where it had got stuck, pulling at the handle a few times before getting it loose and quickly turning to the girl, my face grim and intimidating. I really didn't want to kill her, not when she had tried to warn me about the beast_ _ **and**_ _ignored an opportunity to attack me_ , _but I sure as hell weren't going to let her stand between me and getting out of this arena, either. Raising my ax, I prepared to throw it into her skull the same way I had thrown into the wolf's skull, making an immediate kill._

 _I took too long time to aim._

 _Realising what I was about to do, the girl became pale in the face and it only took a second before she was running down the path and trying to escape. Knowing I could probably ax her at a distance, too, or chose to just ignore her altogether and let her kill herself, I instead decided to play it down for the cameras and sat off chasing her through the woods. She was fast, I soon noticed, and she had had time to gain quite an advantage by the time I started chasing her, so things weren't looking good for me. Instead, chances were I just embarrassed myself infront of the sponsors and weren't gonna get much help for the rest of the games._

 _But that's when she tripped._

 _Hitting the ground hard and heavy after having tripped on a thick root sticking up from the ground, the other tribute was left struggling to get up as I finally started to close in on her. By the time the red-haired girl had finally gotten back on her feet, I was only a few meters away. Though we were both still running, none of us wanting to give up at this point, this little game of ours had finally tuned to my advantage and soon I would be close enough that I wouldn't have to throw the ax as much as just swing it at her skull in order to split it in two…_

" _Please let me be! Please!" The girl started screaming at the top of her lungs as she desperately tried to increase her speed, but having little success as she was already at her limits for what her body could take._

" _I can't! I am going home!" I screamed, finally get enough of playing cat and mouse and instead just throwing my ax with all the strength I could muster, coming to an abrupt halt as I saw it sailing through the air,embedding itself in the back of the girl's head as her body collapsed down into the blanket of leaves that coated the ground, all of it quickly coloured a deep crimson with the blood that flowed from her head…_

Opening my eyes wide, I couldn't immediately tell where I was. It was dark and shadowy and seemingly quite, the only noise the being the sound of my own frantic breathing as I tried to catch my breath. I realised I could be in an arena or I could be somewhere perfectly safe, in the suffocating darkness that filled wherever I might be there was seemingly no difference. Forcing myself to breath more quietly, just in case wherever i was really wasn't safe, I started moving my hands around me, touching everything i could find in order to get some clues about my surroundings. Putting down my hands a few meters from my body, I could feel them sink down into some kind of soft and bouncy material. Moving them forward just a bit, I find something cold and wet and I immediately grab onto it, suddenly realising what it was.

It was the blanket from my bed, drenched in the sweat generated by my night terrors.

Recognising the feeling of the wet fabric in my hand, I suddenly realise where I was and what was going on. I was in my room in the district seven apartment in the training center. I had been reaped for the Quarter Quell and was going back into the arena. I had had a nightmare, a flashback from my games that had messed with my senses. I was safe. Well, as safe as you could ever be with Snow on the throne and people lining up to buy your body.

Removing my earplugs, that I by now regretted ever putting in (but still knowing I couldn't sleep without), I could hear a man's voice, probably Blight, speaking loudly outside in the living room and diner. Rising from the bed and collecting the new tribute training clothes I had been given, but deliberately forgetting the bra lying on the floor, I entered the shower room for a long, hot shower that would leave me smelling like Lilies and honey and other sickeningly sweet stuff the capitol people liked.

Once I came out of the shower, the voices being heard from the living room had doubled, and now, along with the Blight's voice, there was also a low toned and quiet female voice that was decidedly more sober but not less amused than Blight's. While I couldn't really say that i knew who the women was, I was sure that I must have met her sometime before, because I recognised the voice, and the rough and unpolished accent screamed far-off district, probably ten or eleven (twelve was slightly different, more pointed and aggressive than the others). Knowing that it was probably a victor from ten or eleven didn't make much more sense, though, because it didn't resemble Seeders motherly voice that always sounded like she was gonna tell you off, or Mink with her always passive aggressive approach.

Instead, it was smoky and roughed up by the accent but at some level still very gentle. It was something very different from people and voices I was used to hear talk, but still familiar and itching at my memories to connect the dots.

Quickly putting on the clothes I chose earlier, I decided to simply go outside and see for myself who the mysterious women might be, praying to whatever god there might be that i wouldn't be 'interrupting' anything….

When I came out of my room for the first time that morning, she found a sixty-something year old dark skinned women that was most definitely from district eleven sloughing on the couch in her and Blight's (or well District seven's) apartment, Blight sitting opposite her on the second couch with a drink in hand. The women, who I now recognised as the very first victor of District Eleven, Belinda, was laughing loudly as some random joke Blight must've told and sipping on a glass of something that was probably alcohol free (victors from Eleven was rarely once for alcohol, with the exception of Chaff, who was quite the opposite) as opposed to Blight who was apparently trying his best to get drunk already before practice.

"Blight, what the fuck?!" I couldn't think of anything else to say as I felt the anger boiling in me already, threatening to make me smash something against a wall, which was a manifestation of uncontrollable temper I'd rather not display in front of the other victor (who must be in the Capitol to mentor Chaff and Seeder, I realise) least she'd tell the other two victors, giving us an disadvantage.

"My my, Johanna, don't you have anything nicer to say?" The women, Belinda, laughed even more, giving me a mocking smile. She was clearly out to annoy me, if not for anything else then just because she found it funny.

"Jo, this is Belinda, a victor from District Eleven. Surely you must remember her from the last time you two met?" He smiled, taking another sip of his drink, obviously quite pleased with himself. Oh what I wouldn't give to punch him in the face… feel the soft muscles in his face meeting with my knuckles as his head flew to the side...it'd be really really nice and satisfying.

But I didn't punch in the face, because I weren't no kid. I knew better than to do stuff like that.

Instead of hitting him, I slapped the glass of Whiskey out of his hand, letting it crash against the floor with a loud _crash_ as the glass broke and the alcohol spread out halfway across the room ( would be hard for the avoxes to clean up, I'd bet).

"You idiotic jackass!" I screamed loud and clear, staring down at him from my standing position next to the coach, not even taking notice of the dark skinned women that had retreated further into her corner of the opposite couch all of sudden. "You can't go drinking! And what the hell is this victor from District Eleven even **doing** here?!"

 **Now** I took notice of the woman, pointing with my hand in her general direction while making my statement.

"Actually, I'm just here because Blight was bored and invited me. Apparently he think you sleep too much." Belinda commented softly, letting out a dry laugh as Blight glared, obviously not too happy with the woman's attempt to salvage the situation.

Clearing his throat and looking down at the remains of his drink on the floor before looking up at me again, he decided to try on his own.

"I can drink if I want to, Jo, and I don't see why it matters if I invite other victors! Last time I heard about it you didn't really care if people saw you naked!" Blight bit back, his tone sharp and warning, telling me to back off. Except I definitely didn't feel like backing off, not when he was literally fucking up everything I could just feel the anger boiling inside me.

"No you can't fucking drink and invite other victors here when we're supposed to be in the training center in less than three hours!" I replied, equally aggressive, feeling how he somehow was hitting my every last nerve with his ridiculous nonsense.

"Ha! I'm not even going to the training, _cube_! And Belinda is mentoring, so she doesn't have to go, either!" Blight laughed, smiling victoriously, somehow thinking he won the debate. He hadn't, because there was no _way_ I was gonna let him get away with all of this shit.

" _Exactly._ " Belinda agreed, looking at me with less amusement and more serious business like feeling to it. For a moment, her facial features remained strict, but then they softened considerably. "Blight doesn't want to attend, and you can't make him. I know it doesn't feel good, and I'm sorry for you, but there's nothing you can do."

I looked at her, confused. Suddenly everything was getting soft and squishy and I didn't like it one bit. Things shouldn't be that way, they should be dangerous and hurtful and hard as rocks, the way I had learned that the world was. Soft and squishy never lead to anything good, especially when it was coming from an almost complete stranger. Emotions like that took the situation out of my control, made me lose power and made me feel small. I couldn't fight with feelings like that, they were too strong and dominating.

"I don't need your pity!" I hissed, trying to use the always present rage inside of me to regain control of everything that was happening. "You're not even going into the games!"

Hearing my quite mean comment, Belinda frowned, closing her eyes and bringing her hand up to her temple, massaging it as if she was trying to fend of a headache. Except the only headache in this room was her, and I wished she would just leave already. After all, it was her fault everything was so weird. If it had just been me and Blight it would have been a thousand times easier and not half as confusing.

I was just about to ask the old woman to leave in the rudest way possible when Blight rose from the couch, catching me off guard. Straightening his posture and squaring his shoulders, he made sure to make use of all his six feet and five inches, towering almost three feet above me when standing like that. I didn't know if he was meaning to be intimidating or something else, but I instinctively moved backwards as he came closer, his hand still landing heavily on my shoulders and keeping me in place. I couldn't run because he wouldn't let me.

"Johanna...cube... please try to understand. I won't make a good ally in the arena, so you need to find some that is better." Blight had that look again, like when he told me he was gonna die in the arena while we were on the train. He looked _Hurt_. "Everyone here knows me. I'm the supposed drunk, the idiot and the unstable guy from District Seven. I am a bad choice. If they think we're a package deal no one with a choice will choose you, and we need someone good to chose you if you're going to make it out of there!"

It hit me like a fist to the face. He was giving up on himself and abandoning me, leaving me alone in front of all of my demons from my deepest and darkest nightmares. I never cried, because Johanna Mason doesn't cry, but now I could feel the wetness on my cheeks and I knew that that _stupid_ woman, Belinda, was staring, but I couldn't care less because Blight's words _hurted._ They _hurt_ worse than having my parents murdered and my home burned to the ground, because then i at least had him beside me . I couldn't take it, it was too much too soon in front of too many people (not even Blight should be here to witness this) and without another word I simply decided to run for it, intending to get as far away as soon as i could (without leaving the building, of course, because it wasn't allowed on training house). I ran to the elevator, pushing buttons and stepping inside and pushing more buttons and then my legs finally gave out beneath me. I fell down, hitting the stone floor of the elevator hard but not caring because the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional one.

When the elevator stopped again I first though it had reached the training center. Somehow I had managed to get myself curled up in the corner, shaking and trying calm down as the tears kept threatening to spill over from the corner of my eyes. I knew I needed to get of this elevator sometime soon out but I didn't want to, not at all. I wasn't ready to face anyone like this, and I knew they wouldn't want to see me like this either.

"And then I had to explain that the electromagnetic pulse needed to be stronger and…" The smooth male voice reached my ears, and I looked up from my knees, realising that it wasn't at the training center. It had stopped at the third floor to pick up Nuts and Volts. Behind them, I could see a third person sitting on the couch in their livingroom, apparently watching the TV. I wasn't really familiar with the games they were showing a rerun of.

"Joha...nna?" Nuts broken speech reached my ears at the same time as the elevator doors closed and I realised I had forgotten to try and hide while looking into their apartment.

"Yes?" I asked, trying to sound snappy but failing miserably. I sounded terrible, and, I realised, must look the part, too.

"Are you go...okay?" It was Volts that spoke this time, avoiding the word 'good' (some of the older victors had long ago agreed to **never** use the word 'good' when asking how the other victors were) and approaching me carefully. Behind him, Nuts was still occupying the same spot by the door. It was first now I realised how ridiculously big this elevator was. "You on the way to training?"

"Yeah, I'm going to training" I said tiredly, after a moment of consideration adding "Blight is not coming though…"

"He doesn't want to fight" Nuts suddenly stated, looking almost too serious. I didn't know how she knew but her expression looked funny, like she didn't quite know how a serious person was _supposed_ to look. If it had been any other time, and any other subject being discussed, I definitely would have laughed. "But you want him too"

I nodded, dragging my hands across my face. I didn't really know how to put what I was feeling into words, didn't know how to explain how much Blight meant to me, and how much I _needed_ him to fight with me. I couldn't do it alone. I felt like I was that wide eyed nine year old who would run off to the victors village to spend time with my dad's friend, 'Mr. Blight', after school, not returning home until late in the afternoon when it was getting dark. He had been in my life since before i knew what a victor was and I sure as hell didn't want him to walk away now.

"He can't go…" I whimpered, feeling pathetic but at the same time knowing there was no other way to feel right now. Furiously dragging my hands across my face to hide the tears I tried to restore what little dignity i had left.

Without another word, Nuts walked across the elevator floor, Volts (who had been extremely unhelpful so far) backing off to give her and me space as she landed on the floor beside me. Dressed in the tight-fitted uniforms that was mandatory during training hours, Nuts looked even smaller than she had before. Without any heels and extra stuffing in the clothes she was not much taller than me and so thin that you could almost see her ribs sticking out beneath the fabric. I honestly wondered how little she was eating to look like that, it was almost worrying.

"Joha...nna" Nuts started, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath before continuing. "Some people is simply hard to be without"

I didn't have time to thank Nuts for understanding, or respond in any way, as the elevator came to a stop, the display above the doors showing that we had arrived at the training center. Terrified, I realised that I needed to get out of the elevator and away from Nuts and Volts before someone saw me with them. It wasn't that I didn't like them, I did, but because Blight was right when he said that I needed to find allies, and then I didn't want to get stuck with Nuts and Volts.

"See you later!" Was the only thing I said before quickly hurrying out of the elevator and into the training center.

A handful of victors, not more than ten of them, maybe less, had gathered in the middle of the room with the head instructor, a tall blond woman named Atala. She was a familiar face since many years and had probably been standing there and explaining the exact same thing she was now explaining to us to at least one of each of our tributes from the past. I wasn't worried that i missed the beginning of her speech, there wasn't much information in there I wasn't already familiar with. The only new thing this year was that the mandatory station system had been removed, and none of us were required to visit any stations, instead being left to do as we wish. I honestly thought it was better. We were victors, not terrified little kids, we didn't need to be taught in basic survival skills unless we chose to.


	6. Tribute training (part 2)

**A/N: District ten female and all district Nine victor's are bitches and Johanna need to get her shit toghether and stop laughing out loud. This chapter is 5k and I am honestly not sure what it is I've done…**

 **Oh and thanks to BlackCat46 and please check out 'When the survivers died' if u can thanks! ^_^**

The first training session before lunch turned out to be a major bore. None of the trainers could provide enough of a challenge (two of them had actually asked me to leave before I could do anything at the station because I scared them ) and I had to have been yawning at least twenty time during the first two and a half hour.

After the first two and a half hours, however, I got over to the wrestling station (now this, I was good at, and noone could ask _a woman_ to leave) and I immidiatly dropped all my clothes, picking up a bottle of oile instead and starting to rub it across my entire body, making sure to give that smug, no-good, absolutely incredibly stupid girl Katniss Everdeen a really really good view of both my ass and my boobs. If I could make her blush, i sure as hell would, and i already knew from the sneak peak I offered in the elevator that she (and Lover Boy, i could see him lookign from across the room!) liked what I had to offer, even if there was no chance in a million years that she was actually swinging that way, and Peeta was already occupied. Not like i wanted a partner anyway.

Lookign up from covering my busom in oil, I could see that Katniss had gotten up and moved. Earlier she'd been sitting in a secluded corner of the fire station and working on lighting a fire without matches, but now she had settled down next to Nuts and Volts on the other end of the station, obviously helping them as they were having issues getting a fire going even with the help of matches.

I was not surprised

The first thign Beetee had done when he started to mentor after winning the 38th annoual Hunger games, was to make a deal with the current and so far only victor of District Seven, Scarlet Maple (also known as Splinter for reasons unknown, and by the time i came around long since dead), asking her to tell her tributes to help his tributes at the fire station (District Seven's best skill) in exchange for them showing our tributes how to make traps (something District Three always exceld at). By the time I came around and got involved in mentoring bussnises, it wasn't even an offer between the Districts anymore, it was a fact. Blight would tell our tributes how 'we offered for you to teach District three how to light a fire. Just with simple matches, nothing fancy. Make sure they teach you some traps or somethign as thank you'. And it worked.

When I first came to this training session, I had had half a mind to demand for them to keep the deal up, to tell them that 'look, pathetic nerds, I'm gonna assume you forgot how to lit a freaking match so I'm gonna show you and then you show me something usefull', but after the very emotional encounter in the elevator it hadn't felt as important (hey, who said i was good with awkwardness?) and instead I had just gone to do other stuff, trying to find something to keep me intrested for more than five minutes at the time. It had resulted in Katniss beating me to it, and it wasn't really like i minded.

I had seen when they came to the station, slentering over there after abandoning the camouflage station when the morphlinsts came back to claim it. With Katniss, the instructor had had a long talk to see what she wanted to work with and all that stuff, but not one word had been exchanged between the instrutor and Nuts and Volts. Already when he saw them coming, catching a glimpse on the marking 'D3' presented in purple ink on their clothes, he picked up some perfect fire wood and a box full of matches and immidiatly gave them to them, directing them to the left part of the station.

Now, I could see Katniss guiding Volts hand to show him how to light the match and get it to come in contact with the firewood before it burned out. Nuts let out a low yelp and quickly backed a few meters backwards as the firewood finally caught fire and the orange flames appeared, licking it up like a child did with butter on a sandwich, only approaching again as Katniss dumped a bucket of water on the fire and grabbed new wood.

It was sad, really, to see how helpless District Three citizens were. All their lives, they had been taught to be careful with the fire, because one ungaurded flame could easily get their entire district to explode, everything and everyone so tightly packed toghther that there'd be no escape (compared to the actual space they occupied, District Three had the most citizens of all twelve districts ). But, when they came to the games, they had to turn around. Here, fire was going be their saviour and best friend, and the tributes were more often than not forced the entire training time there (except when they showed our tributes the ropes at some other station).

I never got any wrestling done, not really. I got so caught up in watching Nuts and Volts and 'The girl on fire' at the fire making station that by the time I remembered what I was actually doing, I just had time for a easily won ten- minute round of 'ow could please be more careful miss?' before Chaff started shouting.

"Hey, idiots! It's lunch time!" Chaff yelled, getting a blow to the back of his head with a book by Seeder when she heard him, she obviously not happy with him taking it upon himself to inform that it was time for food.

"Manners, Chaff. Manners." She told him, mockingly imitating their escort, Opal Cresent, and getting a laighter out of the other victors. Making fun of our escorts was probably all the victores favourite game to play when bored and more often than not their comments was of such kind that they would have been hurtful if the escort question would have heard it.

"Are you coming, Johanna? Or do you prefer to stay here and put on some more oil?" Mink asked dryly, the slender, six feet tall female victor from District Ten walking up to me as I was getting dressed again after the wrestling.

Looking around, I could see that Angus, the male victor from Ten, was not waiting for Mink, which to be honest didn't really surprise me at all. Everyone with half a brain could see that the two of them had dire problems getting along unless they absolutely had to, the other victors claiming it had always been like that, and I was not expecting them to team up in the areana, as I knew many other were planning to do with their district partners (which then were their friends and they had reasons to chose to stick toghther).

The reason for the two victors disastroues relations was generally assumed to be their conflicting opinions about the capitol. While Angus was, like many of the victors from the far-off Districts, decidedly against the capitol, Mink stood on the other side of the spectrume, essentially **being** a capitol citizen. She traveled to the capitol to attend parties and meet people that had nothing to do with her duties as a victor; and she had clearly had some alterations made to her body, the thirty-something year old womans body being too perfect to be natural at this point.

Many of us wondered how they could be so different, and if we really should judge. Yet of course we did. From our point of view, Mink wasn't someone you trusted just like that, her passive aggressive style and affiliance with the Capitol made you too suspicious for that, but beside Angus and Blight there wasn't anyone of us victors who **really** disliked her...

"I'm coming, don't you worry! I would, however, worry that you'll not get a spot next to Nine. They would surely love to hear your latest Capitol gossip!" I smiled innocently, in my head thanking myself for being so clever. Terraria and Helix from Nine was possibly the only people who could stand to spend the entire lunch hour with Mink and her never ending capitol gossiping, the two of them finding it instresting. Just like Mink they dispite being from far off districts had their heart in the capitol and hadn't they both been that way, I was convinced they'd been like Angus and Mink too.

Toghther, but a few meters apart as to not invade personal space, me and Mink walked over to the dining room area, Chaff still waiting for us at the door and making sure everyone was in the cafeteria before closing the door behind us.

"There you are, my ladies! I was just a bit afraid you weren't going to honour us with your presence!" He said, smiling a mocking smile and bowing as we entered. I could both see and hear the other victors by the tables, laughing loudly at Chaffs manners (of which he had none when he was not making fun of you) and just generally enjoying Chaff's cheap humoure that he was never late to put to use.

As Mink quickly grabbed the seat Terraria had been holding for her between her and Helix, I looked around the room at all the food. An infinite number of dishes and drinks had been put on the carts that had then been wheeled into the room, each cart of sweet pastries, juicy meat and bitter drinks looking more tempting than the next lined up along the walls. You could say a lot about the capitol, btu the food was very good.

Feeling my stomach involuntarily rumble at the site, I quickly grabbed a plate and started filling it with all kinds of foods, making sure to grab extra much of that _delicious_ lamb stew with plums. I remembered from last year that it was _Katniss Everdeen's_ favourite as well, but decided after moment of consideration that I liked it long before it even touched her taste buds. She couldn't make me feel bad for eating it and enjoying it just like her. When I was going to grab the handle of the spoon, though, I noticed there was a lot of sauce splashed on the outside of the pot, as if someone just drooped the spoon instead if putting it back properly. Disgusted, I used a napkin as defens against the sauce when I grabbed the spoon and took the food.

After finishing putting stew on my plate, I carefully put the spoon back and grabbed my glass of 'stingy tomatoe juice', what ever kind of drink that was, and turned to face the rest of the room.

Looking at the long line across the room that was all the ten tables in the cafeteria put toghther (who ever came up with that idea was going to get a fist to the face later), I could see that the only none-occupied spot was one squished in on the left of Nuts, who had Volts on her direct right, and next to Cecelia, who was having Woof on her left and would then have me on her right side.

Sighting and grabbing an extra chocolate-blueberry cupcake from the tray (god knows I'd need it), I gave up and slowly slentered over to the tables, putting my plate and glass down in the tiny space between the mother of three and the excentric invetor. Wincing at the sound of my plate connecting with table, I looked to my right and saw Cecelia flinching, quickly turning around depsite the limited space and clearly breathed out as soon as she noticed it was just me.

"Johanna! How nice to have you here!" She said, smiling, looking around as her smile faded slightly. "Guess there wasn't many place to sit left?"

Her words hurt and made me wince a second time. She sounded so apolegetic, feeling bad for the fact that I had to sit with her (and Wiress) at lunch, wishing for my sake that i didn't have to. I _hated it_. The very first time I had met her and Woof, was when Blight introduced us to eachother during the 72nd annual Hunger Games, and she had been starring down into the ground and mummbling apolegise, waiting for something (teasing most likely) that never came.

Blight had frowned, quickly removing from their presence and taking me back to our bouth where he told me what I already knew: Cecelia was the kind of victor who should never have won. She was a kind and gentle soul that was truly crushed by her experience in arena, and who may have been better off burried six feet under ground.

Yet she had been luckier than most of us. She had a family, a husband and three children, who she was yet to fear would be reaped. She had a family, even if she might not ever see it ever again.

Bet she had apolegised to them too.

Cecelia was a victor who always found something to apolegise for, the kind of victor I unfortunatly had come to like the most of them all. I appriciated their none-aggressive ways and gentle spirits.

Unfortunalty I hated apolegise, especially theirs. They made me feel handfallen and helpless, because I couldn't help anyone that were apolegising to me, because it wasn't like my character. I was supposed to be hard and cold and unapproachsble and it didn't allow me to be soft and help people feel better about themselves. But not helping, on the other hand, was just as bad because it made me feel split. Like I was fsking everything and making enemies with people I wanted to love, just because I was scared to be gentle woth people. Just because noone was ever gentle with me.

This time I didn't care, though, because I wanted to help Cecelia feel hope. What people thought of it mattered less than seeing her smile. I knew she had a very pretty smile sometimes.

"I don't care if there's any place somewhere else where I can sit. I wanted to sit with you and Wiress, Cecelia!" I said suddenly, smiling in a way that Cecelia probably thought was pretty uncharacteristic because she looked at me weirdly but said nothing in protest to the statement. In fact, I could see a small, genioually happy smile creeping at the corners of her lips and I knew my mission was a success. She didn't feel bad for me and she wasn't aolegising anymore.

I could see that she was going to answer me, thank me or say something in response, when Woof grabbed her left arm, tugging at it and sayign something I didn't quite hear. Abandoning me, Cecelia I turned back to help Woof instead, and I smiled, because I knew that no matter what he would always be her number one priorety (it scared me to think that Woof might be the reason he life would one day end).

"Honey, please, it's just a cupcake! I _know_ you like these cupcakes!"

Nibbling on my own chocolate-blueberry cupcake that I grabbed earlier, I turn my head to the right as I heard the annoyed male voice speaking, only to be faced with quite bizarre scene.

Next to me, Nuts was sitting with her head turned in my direction and her arms wrapped tightly around her body (as they often were). She, however, wasn't looking at me. Instead she was determinedly looking _away_ from Beetee, who was holding a cupcake (a chocolate and blueberry one, like the one i was eating) by her face and trying to make her eat it, seemingly not caring about if she wanted to or not. He looked frustrated, as if he had been on it for a while and was just a little short of stuffing it in her face despite nothing of it then actually being eaten). I had never seen Nuts and Volts having a disagreement like this and it interested me greatly.

"I don't want to eat all that sugar! It'll make me **fat** and you know it!" Nuts sounded like a whiny child throwing a temper tantrum, but her words scared me as I looked at her small body, almost every bone and angle she had visible in the tight training clothes. Looking down at her plate, I could see there wasn't much food there for her to eat at all. A small sausage and a pile of mustard, two peaches and a toast with butter and a few thin cucumber slices. Nothing more, nothing less. Only a simple glass of water to drink to it. With the shortage of food on her plate, feeding her that cupcake suddenly didn't seem like such a bad idea. The expression on Nuts face, however, and the fact that the fight over the cupcake was distracting her from eating the rest of her food, made me feel like it was prioritizing the wrong things as she was obviously not gonna eat it. At this point I would probably have just given up all together, making sure she ate what was on her plate and then some more (because god knew she needed it on her skinny body), never mentioning those blasted cupcakes again.

"Are you seriously fighting over a cupcake?" I just had to ask. It itched in me and I wanted to ask so badly because it seemed so ridiculous to fight over a silly little cupcake with brown and blue frosting, when there were probably a lot of other things they could be fighting about. It was really unnecessary yet they acted if it was a matter of utmost importance and I just didn't get it.

Both Nuts and Volts stared at me like I had told them the earth was round for the very first time, or as if I was an alien with three heads, like in one of those horror movies Blight liked. I wondered if they had even noticed when I came here and sat down beside them, or if they had been all lost in their own world that only existed between the two of them and no one else.

"But she always…"

"But he always…"

Realising they were going to say the exact same thing, they now stared at each other instead, shocked expressions on their faces that left me confused. Surely they must be used to saying and thinking the same thing? I had seen Volts finish Nuts thought a thousand times, and not once had any of them been shocked. I had to fight not to laugh, but it was ultimately a lost battle. The laughter escaped my mouth, which had my hand jammed on it to try and stop the sound, in short, almost hiccup like breaths of air. I didn't want to laugh out loud just like that, though, knowing the noise would scare many of the victors who were rather skittish (two of the most skittish ones actually being Cecelia and Wiress who I was sitting next to), but in the end I couldn't help that either and I started laughing loudly and without control.

The effect my barking laughter severed both to scare me and make me laugh even more.

Up on hearing the noise, Cecelia jumped up from her place at the table, ready to fight, and Woof reacted to the sudden motion happening beside him and grabbed a fork to defend himself with. At the same times as all this happened, Wiress moved over to Beetee's lap, scared not only by the laughter I let out but by Fission and Jolt joining in, screaming and laughing even more. I was pretty sure she was crying as she buried her head in Beetee's shoulder, his arms protectively around her small frame.

"What's happening?!" Angus barked out angrily, jumping up from his chair and scaring Seeder so badly that she screamed, quickly moving away from him and backing into the wall. Hearing her scream, Chaff quickly moved in his general direction, holding a knife hard in his hand. Afraid to be attacked, the molrflinists and Mags dived in under the table (the later one carefully and defensively pushed down there by Finnick) and at the same time Finnick grabbed three forks and got into throwing position, ready hurt anyone if needed be. Seeing Chaff approaching Angus with a knife, Brutus quickly ran across the room, managing to get in between Chaff and Angus before they hurt each other, but thus failing to keep an eye on his district partner.

As Brutus left to help Angus, Enobaria got Cashmere's head in a tight headlock, Gloss fruitlessly trying to get her away from his sister as the Avoxes finally fled into the kitchen and both Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark bolted for the bathroom door, getting into the small space and locking the door at the same time as Mink, Terraria and Helix moved over to the closest corner, sitting down and hiding behind their chairs as the walls protected their backs.

Somewhere in all this chaos, the instructor, Atala, came into the room, meaning to tell us that it was time for the second training pass but immediately fleeing again as she saw what was going on. I seemed to be the only one that, with all the boise and things happening, noticed Atala being there, and as such i was also the only to understand that she was probably going to call the peacekeepers on us. I was well aware we'd all get arrested if they walked in on us like this, and decided I needed to bring some order back.

"Hey! Guys! Atala is getting the peacekeepers so I recommend you fucking stop trying to kill each other before we get arrested!" I shouted, somehow making myself heard over the screaming and whimpering and confused exclamations that was flying through the air in every direction.

And suddenly, everyone stopped, just like that. They turned stared at me, and at themselves, wondering what was even going on, what they were doing and why they were essentially trying to kill each other, and then they just stood there.

"Fuck" Brutus said simply, glancing at Angus and Chaff who he was squished in between. "What the fuck are we even doing?"

"I reckon it doesn't matter much why we're acting like bulls during mating season, as long as we fix it before that blonde woman comes back, yes?" Angus commented softly, his accent apparent in his speech as he made a comparison between the current situation and what the people of his district knew the best: Cattle. hearing what he had to say, everyone murmured in agreement, knowing that 'the blonde woman' he was referring to was Atala and he was right.

Just a quickly as they created chaos, the victors managed to dissolve it. Finnick helped Mags and the Morflinists off the floor, fighting off Fission and Jolt who in their drunken stupor was trying to sabotage and Brutus made sure Angus and Chaff moved to opposite ends of the table, Seeder following Chaff closely to get away from Angus. Cecelia, shaking and panting and still not recovered from the chock, sat down to comfort Woof, who seemed to have forgotten where he was, still holding the fork tightly in his big fist until Cecelia took it away from him with her small, delicate hand. Mink, terraria and Helix moved away from their corner, putting back the chairs where they found them, and Katniss and Peeta came out of the bathroom.

In no time at all, the peace was restored, and the only thing different was that Wiress was still sitting in Beetee's knee, looking at everyone with big blue eyes filled with fear, but they all agreed it didn't matter. In worst case scenario, they'd just pass it off as them being affectionate lovers (which they were). They all sat down to continue eating for the time being.

Moment later, however, two peacekeepers forcefully opened up the door, Atala hiding behind them together with five avoxes, most likely the once that fled the room earlier. The peace keepers had guns and closed helmets, but as they stepped in and noticed how peaceful and quiet the room was, they opened the seal so you could see their faces. It was two men, one in his twenties and the other one probably around thirty, that had accompanied Atala.

Both men marched into cafeteria, the Avoxes and Atala staying behind as the two peacekeepers looked around the room with apparent interest.

"Excuse me" Mink spoke up after about ten minutes of them just looking around the room without saying anything, sounding more Capital than I had ever heard her before. "Can I help you gentlemen with anything?"

The peacekeepers glanced at eachother, curious and maybe a little confused, before looking back at Mink and smiling happily. They were clearly surprised to encounter someone so very _capital_ among the victors, but it was putting them in a good mood, and I was internally grateful Mink had decided to handle the situation on her own.

"We're so sorry, ma'am, but this woman" They pointed back at Atala, who immediately took another step back in fear. "Reported a major disturbance. She said you were essentially trying to kill each other!"

"No!" Mink let out a gasp in fake surprise, Helix and Terraria joining in in the faked shock.. "But we would never be so...so...savage like! We're victors, not animals!"

The younger peacekeeper looked ashamed and the older doubted.

"I understand that, ma'am, and I'm very sorry for bothering all of you." One of the peacekeepers, the younger one, said, both of them bowing. "I, however, still need to ask for you to return to training as soon as possible, as the second part of it was supposed to start already fifteen minutes ago."

Mink smiled sweetly.

"But of course! We'll be there in a minute!" She agreed, her voice as sweet as maple syrup. Just the sound of it, coated with layers of false sweetness and a thick, tongue twisting Capitol accent made me want to puke. But as much as it disgusted me, I was still immensely happy that Mink could play it off, because it made handling the peacekeepers a thousand times easier for us. Actually, it was easier just because the rest of us didn't have to get involved. Mink could handle it perfectly on her own.

"Thank you. Good bye ma'am!"

After saying goodbye, the two men left, Atala following them but telling the avoxes to stay. The avoxes complied, closing the door and positioning themselves along the walls of the room, ready to attend our needs again as they were supposed to.

"Well, thank god that's over." Brutus smiled, looking over at Mink. "You did a good job, girl."

"I did what was needed." Mink said simply, the capitol accent and false sweetness gone again. "I do however suggest we comply with their wishes and go back to training as soon as possible."

Everyone murmured in agreement, quickly finishing up everything on their plates and gulping down the last of their drinks before, despite the Avoxes attempts to stop them, collecting all the dirty dishes and putting them in piles on the middle table.

When they were done, everyone headed for the door, ready to go back to training. Walking slightly behind everyone else, I saw Cecelia approaching Katniss and Peeta from Twelve, Woof hanging on to her arm as she chatted with them and suggested they'd go to a station together. To my great surprise, Katniss agreed, while Peeta said he was going to hang out with Finnick and Mags.

While Cecelia, Woof and Katniss headed for the edible bug station, I went to the rarely visited knot tying station. There I expected to get to have some privacy and simply relax, enjoying being alone and half-heartedly work on a few probably worthless knots.

That wasn't the case.

When I arrived at the station, I saw that someone was already there before me. Sitting on a big pine-tree log and working two blue plastic ropes together was none other than Mink Grain, the one and only female victor from District Ten. She was an elegant, sex feet tall woman in her early thirties with an hourglass shaped body that was too perfect to be real. Her milk chocolate coloured skin was entirely free from scars and scratches and I silently wondered how many surgeries achieving that had taken, too.

In the beginning I had been weary around the woman, feeling a little guilty and ashamed to be in her presence since I decapitated her female tribute in my games, but when I later found out she killed both the District seven tributes in her games, those feeling disappeared. Since then I hadn't been around the woman much, but it wasn't like we disliked each other or anything.

"Johanna! How nice. Why don't you sit down and do some knots with me?" She asked, giving me a dazzling smile and tucking some of her long, curly black hair with blonde highlights behind her ear.

"Yeah, sure." I shrugged, grabbing two ropes and sitting down, unsure what to say. I wasn't good at small talk. "So, uh, what's up?"

"Nothing much. Just being sent to a certain doom, you know, the usual ." She said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at me. "Hey, you like to party, right?"

Blinking in surprise at the question, I nodded.

"Absolutely. Why?" I said, looking at her curiously. .

"There's this kick ass party tonight at one of the new nightclubs, _Lightning Spear_. I can _easily_ get you and Blight on the list!" Mink said, leaning in and whispering excitedly. "Are you in?"

I smiled, it sounded really fun. I had heard they had opened a few new nightclubs since the last time i came to the Capitol, and some partying would be perfect to take my mind off everything that was going on...however I wasn't so sure if I wanted to bring Blight, or if he'd even want to come, especially after our fight this morning, but why the hell not. It might distracting him from asking what happened earlier.

"Is Angus coming too?" i asked slyly, seeing Minks horrified expression and immediately bursting out laughing. "Just kidding. We're in!"

"Great!" Mink smiled in relief. "here's all the information!"

She handed me a small note with several lines of information written on it, before getting up from where she was sitting and moving on to another station.


	7. Partying Capitol-style

**A/N: Written from Blight's POV everyone! Yes! Belinda the victor from 11 belong to Blackcat46! Sooo in this chapter we get to see a lto of stuff happen, and I know it's long but ti was neccesary. Hope you like it!**

"Remind me again why I even agreed to come here?" I asked sourly, glaring at Johanna from behind. She was all dressed up in a glittering silver outfit and some fancy hairdo that had taken her two hours of occupying the large bathroom to get done. She came prepared to party, and with none other than _Mink Grain_ , the most capital-like victor I had ever met. And that said a lot, because i had met all of eight mentors/victors that were now dead. Mink was the kind of woman you did **not** want to get into a verbal fight with, because she'd kick your butt and make it physically hurt for days afterwards, much like Twelve's escort Euphemia Trinket (though god help you if you use her full name). I had seen Angus fighting that cunning little _bitch_ Mink for years and she won more often than she lost, probably because Angus wouldn't just slap her in the face like anyone else would. He had apparently _standards and moral rules_ (what victor victor still had that!?) _._

"Your here because the avoxes won't let you have more whiskey, and because you _love_ Mink" Jo replied dryly, suddenly stopping as the club we were going to become visible further down the street. The outside was packed with journalists waiting for any victors that might show up, big high quality cameras hanging round their neck and film cameras resting on the shoulders of cameramen. "Oh fuck it!"

"Think your friend Mink tipped them off?" I asked, smiling smugly as I walked past Johanna and continued down the street, ignoring the journalist with their flashing cameras that suddenly noticed me, taking photos and filming me, asking a million questions I didn't bother to answer when I still really couldn't hear them anyway (if needed be I could blame my bad hearing). A shiver of discomfort ran down my spine as one of the cameras came close enough that it was practically rubbing against my arm, and I immediately wished I had taken a longsleeved shirt that would have covered the discoloured skin on my arms.

I quickly removed my arm from the camera, afraid it'd damage my fragile skin, knowing very well that the last thing I needed was to have to worry about infections while in the arena.

Despite my less than happy mood as the cameras kept getting closer and closer, I still smiled as I felt a weight attach to my arm, clinging just a bit but being very careful to not grab the discoloured skin too hard. Johanna hated journalists and paparazzi, they made her uncomfortable and insecure in a way she preferably didn't want anything to make her feel. But, I, I was safety. In her there was a basic instinct that I ment safety, and she liked clinging to me when she was scared. It had taken time for the room of us to get used to this, because I had never had anyone trusting me this way before, and Johanna had to learn to trust her instincts, something that was surprisingly difficult for the young woman that she was (probably because her time in the arena sure did a number on her). Once we learned, thouh, everything had been good. We had found a balance and built up a peace in between us that guaranteed we would never end up like Mink and Angus. They were the ultimate example of the point to which no mentor pair wanted to come.

"Jo! Blight! Come on in!' Suddenly Mink appeared, her head sticking out from behind the double doors that lead into the club, half the cameras immediately refocusing to her face, despite it barely being visible in the fading sunlight (well the lights attached to the cameras ought lit it up bit). Mink looked at them uncertainly, before grabbing me and Johanna and dragging us instead, making sure the photographers would get a good picture of her smiling face next to ours. What a _capitol bitch_.

"What the fuck Mink?" Johanna spat, seizing the opportunity to speak for both of us as we stood in the hall, a big staircase to the left leading to the actual club area. "Now our faces will be on every newspaper in the morning!"

"I know right?" She smiled excitedly. "Think of all the publicity! It'll be great!"

"Maybe we don't want _publicity_ " I grumbled angrily, knowing there was nothing to do. Now standing under the flourescent lights in the hallway, I could see Minks face a lot better, and what I said made me unintentionally stare. Though it was hardly noticeable against her dark chocolate coloured skin, much less compared to me, I could still see the burnmark blooming over the left side of her face, down her neck to her collarbone and disappearing inside the dress. Her arm didn't have any marks but her wrist and all of her left hand was covered in the marks.

It wasn't that it was unusually. Not really. Gamemakers in all times had used fire as a highly effective way to create chaos and killing off troubling tributes, and as such, most victors that came out of the arena had burn marks on their bodies. What was unusually though was for them to be extensive in the way hers was. She and me and one of the older victors from three (I hadn't seen her in such a long time I forgot her name) was practically the only ones with that kind of marks. And Mink usually covered it up with makeup, because, being capital like person she was, she wouldn't want to look flawed….but tonight she didn't seem to care, and as much as I hated to admit it it did make me feel better about my choice not to cover up my arms either.

"Oh, stop staring, Blight! I'm just not looking to get laid!" Mink snapped when she noticed my staring, and I quickly looked Away because I did know how to be polite when I wanted to, believe it or not. "Thanks Blight. Now, Johanna, time to have some fun!"

"Great!" Johanna exclaimed, giving a sarcastic smile. "We're way too sober anyway!"

Mink blinked, seemingly surprised that she had mentioned the both of us (why did she invite me if she didn't want me here?!), before recovering and putting on a big, almost creepy grin and nodding.

"That's right, I was supposed to tell you. Blight, you should go to private room number eleven!" She chirped, grin still wide.

"Number eleven?" I asked suspiciously. It was common practice to have 12 private rooms in all clubs, one for the victors of each district. But number eleven belonged to district eleven, so why would I go there? I didn't make sense and seemed fishy to me.

"Yeah, Eleven. Belinda is there!" She winked, taking Johanna and moving on with her, up the stairs and into the actual club. It went quick, I barely had time to blink before they were gone, but I had noticed Johanna's face become pale at the mention of Belinda, remembering the woman clearly from their encounter earlier that day, a memory that pained me still and I would glad forget with the help of some beers or whiskey.

"I'm to sober for this" I mumbled, thinking of all the times I'd heard Haymitch Abernathy from Twelve use the exact same phrase every time on of his tributes died or his escort, Effie Trinket, was pestering him extra much something he either had or hadn't done (most of agreed, though, that Haymitch was a little too hard on the, probably only, pleasant escort there was).

Sauntering up the stairs, I came into a big room functioning as both bar and discotec, with shimmering multicoloured lights and music that was much too loud for my test. I really hoped the room would be soundproof, or else me and Belinda wouldn't get to talk much at all.

After looking around a little, it didn't take me long to find the door marked Eleven. The front of the door was painted with a field of golden wheat that according to me, might have been better associated with District Nine, which actually produced grain. District Eleven was supposed to be more of Orchards and fields with vegetables, as that was what they produced. Glancing over at the door marked Nine, I saw that instead of the golden field that had been painted on the door number Eleven, it was that door that had gotten the picture of an apple orchard painted upon it.

Feeling a bit suspicious, I carefully grabbed the handle and opened the, depsit the incorrktness of the motive, quite beatifully painted door, hoping and praying to whatever god there might be that Mink wasn't tricking me or thta I was entering

"Blight, you came" Belinda Darque's rough and at the same time still gentle voice reached my ears as I entered and I turned around to face her. The fifty or sixty something year old woman was sitting on a loveseat and sipping a drink. A brick with an assortment of different alcoholic drinks was placed on the table in the middle of the room. I didn't even ask for permission as I grabbed a bear from brick.

"Of course. Didn't think I'd go party with Jo and little Miss capitol bitch did you?" I asked, inspecting the bear and seeing it was my favourite brand. Belinda had undoubtedly ordered it just for me, because there was three more standing untouched on the brick.

"of course not. Though she's no bitch, I know you don't think that." She said diplomatically, putting down her drink beside her. "You loved her when she won"

"Yeah, before she hurt Angus and betrayed her District." I huffed, taking a sip from the beer bottle. "Did you see she's not wearing make up tonight? Her burn marks are showing"

Belinda nodded, stretching her hand out a picking up her drink again.

"So? She's not looking to get laid" She shrugged, quieting down and glancing at me." But seriously Blight, when are you gonna admit her affiliation with the capitol hurt **you**? You mentored her too, and you are not calling her bitch because she hurt him only!"

I kept quiet, trying to find an argument against what she was saying, even though it was true, and ultimately knowing my silence was betraying me anyway.

Because I **had** helped mentor Mink, me and Angus assisting each other with mentoring businesses after the only other victory in District Seven at the time, Splinter (real name being Scarlet Maple), had fallen incredibly ill, old as she was, and was unable to mentor. Sharing the job they could manage to get at least a few hours of sleep each games ( asking if Haymitch wanted help nothing anyone ever did, since he had been alone form the start and managed just fine).

And then Mink Grain from District ten killed the girl from District three and won.

"So how's your escort doing? Heard Haymitch escort, Effie, is in stitches over having her victors sent back in." I commented, switching subject because I felt exposed and uncomfortable. Frankly I would rather had her ask about this morning than Mink.

"Mine's not happy, think there should be a rule change. Poor thing is new, haven't even had time to stop hoping for a promotion yet." Belinda commented bitterly. "She thinks her career is ending because she's sure I won't pull neither Chaff nor Seeder...:"

She bowed her head sadly. It clearly hurted her, mostly likely because she unfortunately knew it was true.

"Well, if it's any consolation, Chantelle still haven't let me off the hook for what I did last year, and she thinks it only serves me right to go back into the games." He frowned and grabbed a second bottle of beer. "She's trying to Baby Jo to no end though!"

Belinda stared at me, obviously quite startled and unbelieving of what she was hearing.

"Seriously? She thinks it serves you right? Just because you hurt your arm before the last games!" by now she was laughing. "You have to have the bitchiest escort of us all!"

"Well it **was** twelve stitches...Needless to say Johanna wasn't very happy either when she had to run over to me and help with that" I smiled, drinking some more beer and enjoy seeing Belinda laugh at the comment. She was a very nice old lady, and I had always thought so. I had met her already at my first year of mentoring, as she had coincidentally been mentoring that year along with Chaff. Since, I had only seen her a handful of time, but it hadn't really changed the relationship between us, the friendship staying strong even when we didn't see each other for years at a time. My own mentoring career had started with the 50th Hunger Games, the Quarter Quell, and the loss of two former classmates. I still remember their names: Oak and Devon. To top it all of, one of the girl tributes had, also, happened be my Middle School sweetheart, which I had dated for a brief period of time. I hadn't forgotten her name, either. It had been Conifer.

I never forgot the names of any of District Sevens tributes, femalesas well as males.

Since the rough start, my career as mentor hadn't really gotten better. Exactly twenty six years on the job, and I had lost twenty five tributes in total. Only one single tribute did I ever manage to bring home, and she had been Johanna Mason, my little lion cub. And though i would never admit it, the most important of them all. Hadn't I brought home Johanna, I didn't think I would still be alive. Not because she took care of me when I got hurted, I could do that myself, but because she was the offspring of the last thing I had had left from my old life before I became a victor. Bringing her home had meant I didn't loose the only friend I had left in my District. Gordon Mason had been a good, honest and loyal man who kept his reaping day promise to never leave me...

At least until Snow decided to kill him as punishment for Johanna.

"What you thinking of, Blight?" Belinda's accented speech snapped me out of my thoughts, and when I looked up I could see her sitting there on the loveseat, comfortably beneath a fluffy blanket with a new drink in hand. I still hadn't finished my second beer.

"50th Hunger Games. The second quarter quell." I replied slowly, swallowing the last of my second beer and enjoying the bitterness lingering on my taste buds before reaching for one of the two beers still left standing on the table.

"That's not very happy." She said back, frowning and sipping her drink. "How about we turn on the TV?"

I nodded wordlessly, grabbing the remote control from the table and turning on the giant screen on the wall, increasing the sound immediately.

" _And now, dear, I just have to know. How do you feel about that this year's tribute from District Eight was one of the boys that greeted you and gave you flowers during your visit to the district on your victory tour ten years ago?"_ A woman that was definitely not Caesar Flickerman asked a twenty-something year old woman sitting in the armchair next to her on the black and white recording.

The whole setting was unfamiliar to me. The grayscale filming showed the recording was very old, and the huge woman in the even bigger dress that was interviewing probably died decades before Caesar even got his job.

" _Is he one of the boys from the victory tour?"_ The girl next to the interviewer said, looking perplexed and perhaps a little scared as she answered the question with a question of her own.

I didn't recognise the girl more than I had the interviewer. She was obviously a victor, since they were talking about a victory tour, but nothing in her appearance was familiar. She was tall, but with a petite body and long, thick, wavy probably ginger hair. She was dressed in a short girly dress and sat with her legs crossed over each other. I wondered who she could be.

" _Ah yes he is, he's -"_

Belinda grabbed the remote, switching to a channel that was currently showing a commercial for some new hair dye in a horrific neon colour. I wondered what caused her to switch from the old interview.

"Mags" Belinda muttered. "It was an interview with Mags in the 21st games."

"Woof's games." I commented, my mouth reacting before my brain as i was secretly stunned. It was hard to imagine the petite girl on the stage to have been the same woman that I had known for so many years now, just younger. She looked so incredibly different now from back then. Today she was so fragile and breakable, but back then she had been tougher than rock.

"He was the boy they talked about." Belinda confirmed. "I remember those games, it was awful."

"These games are going to be even more awful. Every single one of us is going to die and there won't be nothing we can do about it. There won't be nothing **I** can do about it!" I replied, slowly growing angrier as i kept talking, in the end ending up punching the table hard, so hard that my hand hurt. It didn't matter, it helped me relax a bit and get rid of some of my anger before it got ugly.

"Blight, listen. There might be **something** you can do." Belinda said once I stopped punching the table, looking at bit weary but also slightly excited. Like she had been looking forward to telling me but unsure how I would take it.

"There is?" I asked, looking at her suspiciously. At this point, I was willing to do literally anything to give Johanna some kind of advantage or help in the arena, and if Belinda had a solution I was willing to listen. I, however, did **not** like being lied to, and I hoped for her sake she wasn't trying to trick me.

Yes. I'm not lying, there's this big...plan. An idea that can save the lives of a lot of you who are going into the arena. You see, they're going to..." She trailed off, taking a deep breath and looking me straight in the eyes before continuing. "Blight, they're going to rebel.

"Rebel? Against the capitol? Can they...I mean would they...would they do that?" To rebel against the capitol, from inside the games. It was beyond my understanding, and beyond my wildest dreams. It was nothing I would ever have dared to do, being too afraid and fearing for all the people back home who would have had to pay for my actions. But now… the capitol and President Snow had already taken everything. Johanna was the very last person I had to care about, and if I didn't take this chance, I was probably going to lose her.

"I know! It was Haymitch idea, I think, and I mean we all know he's crazy but **this** , **this** might really work! Even the Head Gamemaker is in our side and if your in then...then…" She trailed off, looking at me with eyes filled with excitement and longing. I could tell she wanted to do this badly. "You are in aren't you?"

"I don't know" I answered truthfully. "It just seems like too much of a risk. I can't afford to get involved in something that will ultimately fail, because if I do, then…"

"Then what?!" Belinda snapped, suddenly more angry than anything. "Think about them, Blight. Think about everyone you care for that Snow is putting in that arena. What will happen if you don't join us and them, if you don't help giving them a fighting chance? Think about it, Blight!"

And I thought about it.

I thought about Johanna, with her chestnut brown eyes that carries more sadness than she would ever admit to, and with her angry personality that always rubbed people the wrong way. Without help she would fight only to ultimately die anyway.

I thought about Wiress. About how she was all brains and no muscles and how no one could ever see what made her get out of that arena. Without any help, she wouldn't last long. Maybe she'd die in the initial bloodbath, maybe she'd managed to run off and hid for a day or two. I only knew that when her time came she'd be standing there with her beloved Beetee and they'd go down together.

I thought all the other victors from all the other districts, especially those from the outer districts. All the oddballs and weak children that no one counted on to come back. Without the help that this cooperation Belinda was telling me about offered, no one of them would have a fighting chance. And I could help provide that.

"I'm in" The words escaped my mouth before I could even register they were even there, and realising what I had just said I quickly hurried to add "But I have some conditions."

"I can't guarantee nothing, only Plutarch and Haymitch can." Belinda answered without missing a beet. "But I can try to help you. What do you want?"

"First of all, I can't be separated from Johanna in the arena. I need to help protect her. Secondly, are we going to have to take care of anyone else than ourselves in the arena?" I explained, trying my best not to sound rude or suspicious as I usually would. "Or is there anyone taking care of us…?"

"You're counted as strong ones. Capable, if you will. If your in on this plan, you won't be covered. You may however have to cover someone. " She frowned, looking at me with an intense stare. "Would you mind covering someone?"

"It depends on who it is." I answered truthfully.

'Wiress and Beetee. Nuts and Volts. They needed coverage and protection but all the other tributes on our side so far has refused." She sight. "They think it's a lost cause to protect them, but I have a feeling you don't agree."

"No!" I reacted instinctively, immediately shying away from the thought of taking care of _them_. Of all the victors made tributes they could _possibly_ had asked me to care for she asked me to care for she asked me about _them_. "Belinda I can't I...it's...I can't!"

"Why not?" Belinda seemed confused and perhaps a bit worried. "I believed you were on good terms with them?"

I struggle to finds words to describe what i wanted to say.

When I heard Beetee and Wiress names, they're real names, I thought of a twenty-something year old man guiding a confused and neurotic teenaged girl around and showing her how to mentor in the 50th Hunger Games.

When I heard the names Nuts and Volts, I thought of a middle aged couple that spoke to each other in hushed whispers and laughed at jokes that no one else but them knew of.

Beetee and Wiress was harmed

Nuts and Volts were crazy

I was friends with both versions of these people, but I didn't think I trusted myself to care for either. They were sensitive and fragile and easily breakable and i couldn't see myself _handling_ that because I was the big rough lumberjacker that chopped wood and wrestled the bad guys to the ground.

Except the bad guys owned me and my rough wood-chopping hands were definitely going to crush them.

"I am on good terms with them" I finally said, making sure my voice held no degree of uncertainty. " I just don't trust myself to look after them. It's like giving a six year old boy a porcelain doll, he'll drop it and break it without meaning to. There must be someone else to look after them."

Belinda shock head quickly, the movement of her head sharp and precise.

"Every one else reasoned like you. Either that or they argued that they couldn't stand them. If you don't take them they'll be forced to survive on their own." She said, her voice neutral and void of emotion as she kept staring at him strangely.

I wanted to scream because everything was fucking unfair and I couldn't believe Belinda was asking this of me when she should know that keeping Johanna alive was going to be hard enough for me as it was.

"I won't protect them" I tell her even though it physically hurt for me to say those words and I can't at all think of the memories associated with their real names because then I know it would take but a moment for me to change my mind.

"But your still in on the rebellion? I can still tell Plutarch and Haymitch and Mink I got you on board for this?"

"Yes" I sigh. "I am in on…"

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!"

Before I can even my finish my sentence, the door suddenly slamed open and Johanna comes rushing in to the room, clearly very upset and with her shoes in her hand so that she was hindered in her movement. Moving on towards me and Belinda and comign closer to the cneter of the room, she was screaming obscenities and callign ustraitors and I barely had time to comprehend most of what was happening.

In the ongoing mess, there was really only onethign that stuck to you of everythign that Johanan said and screamed, but that one sentence was more than yu ever wanted to hear in your entire life.

"Why didn't you tell me?! Don't you trust me? I mean...I would even habe taken care of **Nuts and Volts** for you!" By now, Johanna was more sad than angry and my heart was breaking as i heard her voice break, the tears spilling out of her eyes without johana even trying to stop them.

"Johanna...I didn't mean to…"

It was too late. I knew that, that I had fucked up and that somehow I'd need to fix it before the games. If only I knew how...

 **Deleted Scenes/Extra paragraphs removed from the actual chapter for anyone interested. Still Blight's POV**

Mags Flanagan was like a mother to me, to all the victores. She and Belinda Darque and that woman from Three, Coil Pulse, were the mockingly so-called 'Welcome committee', who baked cookies and muffins for the new victories and gave them as gifts on their first year mentoring. They guided you and introduced you to everyone and made you feel safe in our big, loud crazy family that we had. Most of us didn't have families privately so the other victors became our everything, especially our mentoring partners.

Woof, was a good man. It had been shameful and awkward in our first meeting, because I killed his tributes and his hope of having another victor, but it didn't stop Mags and Splinter, our districts only other victor, from trying to get us to get along. And we did. Because after all, with Woof, both good and bad was soon forgotten. Literally. Already back then Woof had been getting worse, forgetting everything from his tributes names to what year it was. We all sigh in relief when Cecelia won, more than happy to see that there'd be someone to watch over Woof when he got too lost, mixing up memories and present and forgetting what to do

I didn't want Woof and Cecelia to have to be sent back.


	8. Individual assestment and scoring

" _Blight Spruce report for individual assessment"_

The monotone voice in the speakers echoed, calling up the seventh of the male tributes for their individual training. I didn't even look at Blight as he got up and left the room, wanting to very clearly show him that I was still furious about the night before.

As I turned my head the other direction and looked distinctly away from Blight, my eyes landed on Wiress. She was sitting alone curled up in a corner waiting for her turn, her wide blue eyes moving around the room quickly, over and over, scanning for threats that could take her down in her vulnerable state. Not that I was surprised. She never did do good with out her other half, without Beetee.

" _Why didn't you tell me?! Don't you trust me? I mean...I would even have taken care of Nuts and Volts for you!"_

Last night, Mink Grain had taken the opportunity to tell me a secret. In hindsight, I had realised that it had probably been an on beforehand decided agreement between Mink and Belinda, but then I had mostly been shocked and interested. The very idea of having a rebellion going on among the victors, ready to be launched inside the very arena where they put us because we were to rebellious, was both ridiculous and dangerous, but I had never liked playing it safe.

Not that I could tell Mink that, at least not until I had had a chance to talk it over with Blight. So, I had quickly removed my highheeled shoes and rushed over to the private room for the victors of district eleven, which confusingly enough had a field full of golden wheat painted on it, opening the door just a little and…

" _But you're still in, right? you haven't changed your mind?" It was Belinda's sweet, rustic mouth talking, asking a question to another person in the room._

" _yeah...I'm in on the…" Blight spoke up and suddenly I knew I had heard enough._

I remembered tearing that door open and rushing inside, screaming at the top of my lungs and insulting them in every way possible, tears slowly swelling in my eyes as my untoppable anger faded into unstoppable sadness. Blight had been in on this rebellion thing _all along_ and he didn't even think twice about telling me, letting Mink Grain, which i knew he despised, do it instead!

After I had raged, Blight had of course tried to explain, but I ran away from him and hadn't talked with him up till this point.

I didn't think I ever wanted to talk to him ever again. At least not until we came into the arena.

But there was one thing i thought of, when I saw Wiress sitting curled up in the corner: She and Beetee lacked partners. No One had offered to protect them in the arena, I was sure, because even Blight, who cared about them quite some, wasn't interested in them and their packages, and that bothered me a lot... They were useless, I understood that, but It didn't mean I didn't care about them anyway.

I realised what had been bothering me since the moment i sat eyes on Wiress was the fact that I felt like I wanted to protect her. I wanted to be on nerd-guarding duty. I wanted to care about other human beings that weren't me nor Blight, even if it would distract me from protecting Blight.

For the first time since I was reaped, I was thinking about anything else beside how I would do to protect Blight in the arena, and the sheer feeling off it made me feel weird inside. Different, somehow. Like I was undergoing some kind of change on an emotional and psychological level.

I hope to god I wasn't.

" _Johanna Mason report for individual assessment"_

I jump in surprise, looking around the room. All the other female tributes in the room were also looking around in surprise,too, convinced that there _had to_ be more guys left, that not all of them could have had their training yet, but when they did look around they realised that half the guys _hadn't even bothered to show up_ , and then, for some reason, they wanted me to go before all the others.

Cashmere and Enobaria glared daggers at me as I rose from my seat, clearly offended and angered that I was allowed to perform before them. As if it was a glorious moment that they couldn't wait to get to experience first hand.

Wiress is still sitting in the corner, focus away from me as Mags crawled up beside her on the bench, holding the younger woman carefully in her shaking old arms and trying to support someone who obviously needed it, equally obviously not caring who went for their individual assessment first. It was not like any of them were bond to make a great impression.

Smiling at the heartwarming scene with Mags and Wiress, I finally turn around and walk through the doors into the training hall, deciding that once my individual assessment was over I was going to find Haymitch and Beetee and ask that I get to allie with Nuts and Volts.

" _Miss Mason, you got ten minutes to showcase your chosen skill. Then you are obligated to leave through the door on the other side of the room. If you refuse, peacekeepers will with any means necessary remove you from this room ."_

After the harsher-than-I-remembered-them-to-be instructions by the equally monotone voice that I suspected belonged to the head gamemaker, Plutarch Heavensbee, a bell called out and I understood that my ten minutes started.

And I had no _fucking_ idea what to do.

Acting on a bit of a whims, I strolled over to the painting station where there was already a bit of a mess, most likely from one of the morphlinists having their session earlier.

My eyes landed on three jars of coloured paint. One had sea-blue paint, one chestnut brown, and one deep forest green, all of them like woods and the dirt and the heaven back home in district seven.

You wished you were back home in Blight's back yard, throwing axes and targets that he made to train on and drinking bitter beers that you never liked but he loved.

"Arrrg!" In pure frustration, you grabbed the paint jars and throwed at the practice dummies, hitting each exactly where the heart would be on a real living person. After that you were out of energy to care at all, didn't even want to try and showcase some kind of talent. You just stood there and watched the painting dripping from the dummies, gathering in muddy puddles on the floor, all until the moment they told you to go and you rushed out the door as fast as you possibly could.

When the door closed behind me I was suddenly unsure what I was going to o. I absolutely did not want to go back to mine and Blight's apartment, as I knew he'd be waiting for me there, but I didn't really have anywhere else to go, either. My indecision on where to go made that I didn't move at all, and instead of actually pushing the elevator buttons, I just stood frozen on the floor and waiting for, well, _something_ to happen.

As I stood there, debating what to do, the elevator suddenly plunged and the doors opened, none other than Volts steppin out into the small, gray painted room. He had changed from his blue and white training uniform to a pair of dark blue jeans and a checkered shirt. He had also left the glasses at home, and i had to admit he looked a whole lot better without them, the lack of the big, black framed glasses taking the edge of the 'nerdiness' in his appearance.

"Hi Volts. What's up?" You asked awkwardly, managing a nervous, loop-sided smile.

Volts looked surprised seeing me, quickly checking around the minimalistic room before speaking. "Johanna? What are you doing here? Did the others already have their sessions?" He looked confused and frowning, and you realised he was probably here to pick up Wiress as soon as she came out from training.

"Oh uh they let me go first. But you don't need to worry, Mags was looking after her, so I'm sure she'll be fine until it's her turn." i quickly explained, smiling as I saw him relaxing just a little bit when he heard Mags were looking out for Wiress. They were really the cutest little couple, and how Snow never seemingly catched on to it, was beyond me. "But Beetee, I actually needed to talk to you."

"You fucked up your ten minutes? Don't worry, I did too." Beetee smiled, but though he obviously was humoured, he didn't laugh. I didn't think I'd ever heard him laugh when Nuts wasn't around.

"No, it's...do you have any allies yet?" I knew Blight would hate my guts for this, for allying with **Nuts and Volts** , but he had said it was my choice, and my choice was made.

Volts looked shocked, like it was the last thing he expected me to say, which it probably was, but he quickly regained his composure.

"No, we've...we've been looking, but so far no luck. " He sighted, looking down into the ground, obviously feeling quite embarrassed. "No surprise to you, i'm sure. Who you got allies from? Two and Four?"

I laughed, quick and raw, almost mean sounding. "Not a chance! Me and Blight are on our own. Want in?"

As soon as i said the words I realise it's the wrong approach. Scared, thinking maybe i'm makin fun of him, Volts quickly back off and instead find himself back to back with one of the corners or the room.

"You're kidding,aren't you?" He asked, giving me a half-hearted smile, as he was trying to show the liked my 'joke' though he obviously didn't find it funny. I just kept a straight face, showing no sign of that I would be kidding. "Right?"

I was just about to answer him that _no, I wasn't joking, I meant it_ , when suddenly the doors behind us opened and someone came running out of the training hall, being just as much of a rush to leave as i had been when I finished my ten minutes.

"Beeee!" Nuts rushed right up to Volts, who immediately opened his arms to be able to hug her tight. She smiled like a little child being picked up from school by her dad. "I did good!" She sounded proud when she said the last part, smiling even more as Volts smiled as well.

I laughed lightly, once more finding the two of them extremely cute as they clinged to one another and shared each other's happiness. "I meant it, Beetee. I want you as my allies. I'll come to watch the result with you, you can give your answer then."

And with that, I turned and left, leaving Beetee looking shocked and Wiress confused, but still smiling myself. Today was quite good, after all.

When I stepped into the elevator, I pressed the button numbered '12', remembering that I needed to have a talk with Haymitch about the rebellion and me allying with Nuts and Volts anyway, because since he was some kind of 'rebel leader', together with the gamemaker Plutarch Heavensbee, he needed to know.

When the door pinged and I arrived at the twelfth floor, the first thing I heard was two distinct voices screaming at each other, both of them working to get the upperhand in the ongoing debate.

"YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS HAYMITCH YOU FUCKING PROMISED ME TO FUCKING NOT TO!" A shrill female voice screamed out, angry and almost terrified as her voice rose another octave towards the end.

"JUST FUCKING SHUT UP, EFFIE! YOU KNOW I FUCKING DO WHAT I WANT, YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!" Haymitch screamed in response, and I suddenly felt like I came at a very bad moment. Effie and Haymitch fights were well known and definitely something to stay out of if you could.

Despite this, I made my way it to the living room, making my presence know to the both person in there: The closer to fifty year old alcoholic that I knew as Haymitch Abernathy, and the probably closer to forty year old woman who was the hired escort of Haymitch District, Effie Trinket.

As I stepped into the room ,the both of them stared intensely at me, and i regretted my decision to progress regardless of their evident fight. Haymitch freed his hand which was being held in a tight grip by Effy, and Effie huffed angry.

"What's up dear? Effie asked kindly, smiling a slightly inpatient smile while fishing for Haymitch wrist again, but he kept it on a safe distance.

I smile loopsidedly.

"I'd like to talk to Haymitch. In private. Do you have time?" I looked at the man why was staring at me with a decidedly angry frown. I sigh. "Please."

Effie smiled. "Oh such a well mannered young la…" She giggled, only to be interrupted by Haymitch.

"Come on, let's go Sweetie!" He grabbed me roughly by the arm, his grip hard to the point that i was sure it was going to be bruised in the morning and dragging me down to the far end of the corridor, opening the door at the end by kicking at it with his big, working boot clad foot and walking in.

Once inside the dark, weirdly smelling room that I unfortunately was pretty fucking sure was supposed to be _Haymitch bedroom_ , the man accompanying me slammed the door closed and walked over to the bed, sticking down his hand underneath the mattress and taking out a green-coloured plastic bottle.

"So, what the hell are you actually doing here, kid? Warning: I'm sober, so you better not fucking lie to me." He waved the bottle in the air, and I realised the white liquid inside was probably some kind of homemade booze he bought in his home district.

"I'm allying with Nuts and Volts." I said, trying to make it sound as important as i could. "Thought you should know."

Haymitch laughed.

"Wow, your old pa' must have gone completely crazy, if he let ya do that, and you… I don't even know what it make you for wanting to do that!" He barked, opening the bottle and taking a long sip of liquid, careful not to spill.

I flinched as he called Blight 'my old pa' ', but stood my ground and stared intensely at his drunken old face.

"I'm not crazy. And I know about the rebellion. I'm in on it. With Nuts and Volts. I wanted you to know."

Haymitch stopped drinking now, almost spitting out what he had in his mouth as he stared at me in utter shock. The old goat had definitely not believed I was serious up till now. But I was.

"Mink told me you were a no deal...Belinda too. But, the more the merrier, I suppose. And it's just great if you want to have Nuts and Volts, they need someone to look out for 'em, if they're gonna live long enough to make the plan work. Couldn't convince noone else to do it tho." In his eyes there was more than just a drunk haze, I could see the compassion and pity he felt for those poor souls no one wanted to help.

I wondered if his own tributes, most certainly unknowing of what they represented, had refused the crazy couple from three as well. If he had went straight back to his room and his hidden bottles of alcohol to wallow in the sorrow of another friend that was surely going to be lost to the games.

I was abruptly snapped out of my thoughts as someone suddenly banged on the door, and Haymitch got in a hell of a rush to put the lid back on on the half-emptied bottle and hide it, but stopping in his tracks as an to me unfamiliar voice spoke up.

"Mr . Abernathy? Miss Mason? It's time for the point assignment in five minutes?" The voice was tinted by the Capitol accent, but I could tell that the person speaking didn't have quite the same speech pattern as other Capitol people.

Haymitch gave me a lopsided grin, much like the one I had originally given him. "That's Cinna, our designer. Ya wanna stay for the viewing?" His accent seemed to seep through when he'd gotten a buzz, because what he said had a stronger district twelve accent than I had ever heard him speak. I shook my head.

"I was heading to District three's suit. Got some stuff to do." I smiled, opening the door and walking out.

Quickly, I stomped past the dark-skinned designer for District Twelve, Cinna, who made those impressive clothes for the tribute parade, and continued down the hallway, sneaking my way through the living room without attracting the attention of the four people watching the tv, before silently stepping into the elevator and pressing the three button.

 _Riiiiiing_

An annoyingly shrill bell ringed as the elevator came to a stop after passing through nine other floors, and I stepped out of the elevator and into the living room, only to be stopped by an older woman who deliberately stepped in front of me.

"What are you doing here? Other Districts aren't fucking welcome here!" The sixty-something year old woman spat. She was clad in a grey dress that matched her almost completely gray hair, and her bitter looking face had the natural ash grey skin colour of a district three citizen, but half of it was discoloured the same way as Mink's face, though a lot more obviously, clashing with her natural skin colour in the extreme.

Though I did not know her name, I recognised her well from the reaping for this year's hunger games in District three, and knew that she was one of the district's six victors.

"Cog, calm down. She's the guest Bee and Wire was expecting. Can't you see her uniform says she's from D7?" Behind the woman's imposing stature, a man who looked to be the same age as the woman appeared, and though I didn't know his name either, I recognised him from the reaping as well. He and the woman in front of me looked confusingly similar, and I slowly started to realise they might be related. "Welcome, honey. I'm Circuit, and the bitter old thing in front of you is my sister Cog."

"You're as old as me, we're twins!" 'Cog' protested as she stepped aside and let me in. She still seemed as mad as she'd been earlier, but her obviously calmer brother made me feel a little better. I now realised that they looked so alike because they were indeed related, twins even.

As if on que, the TV on the wall, which was already turned on, started talking and Nuts and Volts came into the large living room area together.

"And now, what you all have been waiting for: The results of the individual tribute training!" The man, Caesar Flickerman, flashed an impossibly white smile at the camera, and we all sat down on the couch. Beetee settled down on the right end, Wiress half sitting in his lap with her arms around his waist and her head resting against his chest. Next to them, Cog settled, Circuit and I sitting beside her on the left end of the sofa. Everyone's attention was now directed towards the TV.

"So, let's get cracking." The TV host laughed like someone told a joke. "Cashmere and Gloss Shine from District one both got a total point of ten. Brutus Sprain and Enobaria Marble from District two, was both awarded eleven points. Wow, it's a fine selection so far, with strong points and a good outlook, I…"

"Can't he just continue already?" Circuit exclaimed angrily while Caesar discussed the results for the two first districts with another man that you knew you'd seen before but couldn't recall the name of.

"And now, before we go on with the next Career district, we got the points for District three." Everyone fell quiet as he mentioned that he was about to present district three's points. "Wiress Router was awarded for her excellent fire demonstration with a total of eight points, a new record for the district!"

The host seemed honestly stunned at what he had just read, and moments of silence passed for both him and us in the sofa. Everyone was staring at Wiress, who was blushing and hiding her face in Beetee's chest while he carefully patted her back, as shocked as anyone else of us.

"Hmm" The host continued with some uncertainty. "And moving on to the males, Beetee Latier was awarded with **TEN** points, setting another record for District three! Am I even reading this right?! Ladies and gentlemen this is sensational, I…" The host was yelling now, Discussing it with his also shocked co-host as all of us yelled in joy ourselves, Cog and Circuit jumping around and asking Nuts and Volts _what the fuck_ they did to deserve that kind of points. The air was so full of excitement and happiness that even I got dragged into it.

"I just put fire to a dummy" Wiress whispered as we finally began to quiet down a little, and Beetee patted her head and mumbled 'good girl' into her hair.

"I just did a trap where the captured are electrocuted. Hardly anything new. " Beetee commented as to why he'd gotten all of ten points, once people was done reacting over Wiress putting something on fire.

I stared at them in disbelief. They spoke of their accomplishments as though they were nothing, seemingly not realising why it was counted as anything special or high rewarding. Only I seemed to understand how obvious it was.

A tiny, severely mentally damaged woman from three setting fire to a dummy without having a total breakdown? It was impossible to imagine, especially considering district three citizens inherited fear of fire.

A nerdy inventor from District three that hadn't designed anything but toys and factory machines for the last thirty years, still able to throw together an electrocution trap just like that? It Was surely better than any other tribute from their district had ever had performed.

There incredibly success made me think of my extreme failure. Of the ones beautiful coloures running off the dummies and gathering in grey puddles on the floor.

I felt ashamed that even a mentally disturbed couple like Nuts and Volts did better than me.

"Miss Mason, your district is up now!" Circuit said suddenly, and everyone settled down to watch it. While we had been focusing on Nuts and Volts, four Districts had gotten their points. Now it was our turn. I gulped.

"And to District sevens male, Blight Spruce, seven points was rewarded. To District sevens female, Johanna Mason, four points was awarded for her spectacular...painting?" For the second time tonight, he seemed confused, but quickly shook it off. "For District five…"

"Well, it's obvious your not going to get any allies. You are garbage. "Spectacular painting"? My ass! You sucked, simply." Circuit commented, and I suddenly felt angered. Felt i wanted to bite back.

"Big talk for someone who's tributes never gotten more than seven points. I panicked, but at least I won a Hunger Games before I got that four. What's your tributes excuses?"

First, Circuit looked stunned, considering the mentality of her fellow victors clearly not used to be spoken back to, but after a moment of collecting herself she smiled and laughed. It was a deep, hearty, happy laughter.

"Oh, look at that! The cat got claws! Maybe you're worth it to ally with. Plus, your districts guy ain't too bad." She smiled, and it seemed everyone breathed out as she didn't argue further.

"You know Blight ?" I asked, momentarily confused.

She laughed again, placing her hands on her hips.

"Sweetie, I mentored during his games! Splinter was my friend" Her smile was a bit sadder this time, and i thought of all the years she would have mentored along with her.

For me, 'Splinter' was connected with an image I carried with me from being a child, a sight of a tiny, wrinkled woman with a mountain of white curls pinned on her tiny head, looking through the window of her house at me and Blight's happiness.

For Blight and Cog that name was surely something entirely else.

A sudden feeling of emptiness and _longing_ set in, hitting me like a punch in the stomach. I had decided to hate Blight for as long as I could, but now the feeling that I was missing him was so strong that I didn't care. I wanted to be nine year old me again, the little girl who'd come running down the path to the victors village, where he'd be waiting for me and lifting me up and hugging me and carrying me on his shoulders and all the other things Dads in District seven never had the time to do, and the brothers did instead. I never had a brother.

"I got to go." I exclaimed, starting running towards the door, before stopping and turning around. "And thanks for being my allies!"

I felt good, ready to reconcile with the one that mattered the most to me, and hopefully, I to him.

But there was a problem, and that was that I knew of what nature Blight was. I know he'd be angry when i returned, screaming and probably hitting something, hopefully not me, but in the end I also knew his truth would win, and he'd forgive me.

Hopefully

I jumped into the elevator, took a deep breath, and pressed the button numbered '7'.


	9. Face to face with Blight

"JOHANNA!"

The screamed echoed through the apartment as I stepped out of the elevator, and I flinched. Blight never screamed at me, unless he was angry, and right now I expected him to be _absolutely furious_. That man had the absolutely worst temper I had ever seen in my entire life, and I had not been acting the way he wanted to, not even in the slightest.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE BEEN DOING?!"

He continued to yell, and suddenly I saw him appear at the other end of the living room, slowly making his way towards me while trying to avoid the vide variety of broken and harmed items lying on the floor. It varied from everything between vases and hand-sized mirrors to plates and couch cushions. I suspected he had done most of the damage to the items himself, so it was his own fault that reaching me was difficult, but I still felt a little pity as he stepped on the second broken plate in a row. I'd have to make sure he took a look at his feet after this. Wounds like that could quickly get badly infected, especially if you didn't manage to remove any shards that may have gotten stuck.

"EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"

He had gotten across the living room now, and instead he was sticking his furious face in front of me and confronting me right on. I frowned and baked two step.

"I've been talking to Haymitch, and then I visited nuts and.."

"I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU ALL OVER!" He took a deep breath, obviously noticing that he screaming wasn't really helping either of us. "I was worried, Johanna. No one had seen you since your individual, I thought something happened!"

"What?" I was shocked. Suddenly he didn't seem angry any more, just exhausted, sad, perhaps upset. But not furious, nothing like I first thought. "You looked for me? I was with Haymitch in Twelve's flat, and then...Then I watched the scores with three. Me and Nuts and Volts are allying in the arena.

Now it was he who looked shocked. "Really? You and Beetee and Wiress?" He asked, and I noticed a slight tremble in his unnaturally quiet voice. "You'll help them a lot."

"I'm helping you too!" I couldn't keep it in, couldn't hide it anymore. I'm trembling, tears gathering in my eyes as I press myself to continue. "I love you." Now there was really no way to stop because he had trashed the whole damn room worrying about me and all I focused on was being angry. "I love you so much and i don't want to ever have to lose you!"

I was so caught up in sobbing uncontrollably and feeling absolutely disgusted with myself _because fuck it this is not how Johanna Mason does shit_ that I barely even noticed the strong arms looping around my shaking form and pulling me in for a tight hug, holding so tightly I was convinced I couldn't break free if i wanted too.

"Shhh, my little cub, everything is going to be okay." Blight's voice whispered in my ear, and I relaxed into his chest. His shirt smelled of pine needles and dry, sand-like dirt, and I realised he must have brought it with him from home just so that he wouldn't have to wear the clothes the capitol gave him. It was a smell that I was sure sat in all my clothes I owned from back home too. In everyone back home.I thought of my dad and mom and little sister and my big sister and all the other dead people I would never get back.

Of the one person I still had

"You know i'll never leave you alone, right?" Blight looked at me, brushing my cheek with his calloused hand and removing a few of the tears I had shed earlier. I hated feeling this vulnerable and emotional, and probably hadn't had a meltdown like this since I was twelve, but with the quarter quell closing in and everything suddenly becoming a whole lot more real, I felt as though I couldn't help it.

"You're everything I got. And you need to take care of the wounds on your feet." I smiled, and Blight laughed, buffing me playfully. I found it amazing how quick things could change between the two of us.

One moment we hated each other

The next moment we loved each other

No day was the same for us, it changed, even from one moment to another... I guess that's how it worked when you were a victor. Sometimes you felt almost like yourself and you can act normal towards everyone, but sometimes nothing wouldn't work , you felt so far away from who you were that you couldn't act alright even if you wanted to and it felt as though the entire world was falling at your feet.

That's why you had your partner, your mentor and your fellow victors. Without them, a victor had nothing. Districts like twelve showed the worst case scenarios. Broken and alcohol addicted, not even mustering up enough energy to properly mentor their children. It was a terrifying image. It made me thankful that I had Blight to lift me up, and that I could do the same for him. Without me, Blight would have been alone, and i could only imagine how bad he'd be, his problems amplified when I wasn't there to look after him.

He had trashed our living room just from me being away for a few hours without telling him where I went. it was more of an reaction to me disappearing than I ever would have expected, even from Blight. It made me want to cry all over again, because he was nuts and I was nuts and I simply _couldn't_ handle this, I needed.

"have the clothes for the interviews come yet?" It was the first thing that came to mind, really, and though it couldn't matter less I still asked, just to put some distance between us and all these nasty emotions.

Blight, who had been sitting on the couch and picking glass and porcelain pieces out of his foot, nodded. "Yeah, they came while you were away. Not going to be easy for you to move in that thing, though I bet it'll look good."

"Doesn't matter if I can move or not. I'm probably not even going to sit down, it give you much less power while you're screaming." I commented bitterly, frowning.

Blight laughed, his voice deep and booming the way it only was when he was sincerely amused, but he said nothing on the matter. He knew better than to expect anything less from me, out of all people. He just finished fixing up his poor massacred foot, before immediately getting up and leaving in the direction of his room. I was glad to see that he had no trouble walking due to his foot, but less happy to realise that he probably left because he needed to get ready for the interviews, and that I needed to get ready too.

I didn't want to get ready, and i didn't want to have to be interviewed by _Caesar Flickerman_ , but just like so many other times in my life, I didn't have a choice. Snow had ordered it, and Snow's order was the law which we all must follow.

' _But he can't decided what we say'_

I smiled smugly, walking off to my room to get ready. Tonight was promised to be a night, which no one in Panem would ever forget.


End file.
